


Bowling For You

by SpongeGuy



Series: The Milo Murphy's Law Wiki Guy AU [29]
Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dakavendish is endgame, F/M, M/M, None of the ships here are going to be canon except for one, Suicidal Thoughts, This isn't a harem thing, also, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 18:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21040895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpongeGuy/pseuds/SpongeGuy
Summary: Block gets into a bet with his arch-nemesis and hated co-worker Ms. Barrier, forcing Dakota, Cavendish, Brick, Savannah and Gretchen to team up with Block to play bowling. While Dakota desperately tries to justify his reason for existence, Gretchen reveals her past. Maybe there is a reason why Dakota is alive... Part of "The Milo Murphy's Law Wiki Guy AU".





	Bowling For You

23rd of October, 2177.

“Rise and Shine! It’s Another Great Day!”, the alarm clock went.

The alarm clock then went to hell, as it was smashed with a hammer.

Gretchen woke up, scratching her back.

Her hair was all over the place, and her eyes were still sleepy.

She felt like crap, and that disgusting coffee she always drank didn’t help.

She could buy a new brand.

But that would require effort.

Yecch.

As Gretchen got into the black outfit with grey sides and red sleeves that she always wore, even out of work, and made sure to cover up her scars, she looked at herself in the mirror.

Short, dark brown hair, like of a steriotypical office woman.

Dark, disinterested eyes, that looked like no sunlight had even gone through them, same color as the crappy coffee she always drank.

Thin framed glasses, since she had a thin appreciation for life, (maybe, she didn’t care enough to put such effort for a metaphor), and desaturated red lipstick, perhaps also symbolic?

Gretchen had never cared for symbolism, but it did seem that her face generated the message of “Whatever”, even though her perpetual indifferent expression probably already told you that.

Matching triangular earrings fit nicely with her lipstick, and as she tightened a red belt with a gold buckle, all that was left were the black gloves.

Having finished her morning routine by putting her booklet in her pocket, she looked at herself.

Same indifferent expression.

And it stayed on as she boarded the subway on the exact same seat as ever.

And as she bought the exact same sandwich at the deli as ever.

And as she scrolled past the exact same news feed as ever on her phone.

And as she entered the exact same building as ever.

It was autumnal now.

Or wait, was it summer?

She honestly couldn’t tell, but maybe it was because it was all blending together.

After all, when was it ever different?

Same receptionist desk, now adorned with Christmas decorations.

Same elevator, now blaring out “Summer Is For You”.

Same office, now with light spring rains outside.

Same cubicle, now with some reddish brown leaves stuck to her wall.

She “greeted” co-workers who passed her and she sat down in the exact same chair, doing the exact same work she had done for 10 years now.

Wait, no…

15 years now.

Or maybe 5?

Is it today?

Or last year?

Or Halloween from 8 years ago?

Or Kyle’s birthday from 13 years ago? 

Who’s Kyle?

Or is it her first day?

The thing is…

It doesn’t matter.

Gretchen knew she could never change it.

And because of that…

She never tried.

She sighed wearily as she gazed at her surroundings.

Would life always be like this?

Or would she one day find it?

Suddenly, Gretchen’s communication device opened up, and Mr. Block’s ugly mug showed up to speak to her.

And when he moved it, she saw his ugly face.

“Gretchen, I need you to…”

BOOP!

Gretchen pushed the button to hang up and a small smug smile showed up on her face.

“That’ll grind his gears. 3… 2… 1…”

As Gretchen pointed one finger in the air towards Block’s door, you could hear the shout of frustration and the furious tapping of numbers.

“Bingo. Point Gretchen.”, she said, and she etched yet another score point in a wall filled with markings.

Block had a lot of catching up to do.

You know, if he had a couple thousand years to spare.

Block’s face showed up again, and Gretchen laid back on her chair with her arms behind her head, eyes glazed and attitude unchanged.

“Gretchen! What did I tell you about doing that?”, he growled, visibly annoyed at his secretary’s insubordination.

Gretchen lightly exhaled to lift a stray hair back onto her scalp. “Calm your tits, Block. Whatever you need, it will probably settle itself in about 11 minutes. Maybe 22 or 44 if we really need the ratings. Considering how the company is treating the show though, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. Though, honestly, since when do I do?”

Block sighed and pinched his nose. “Why don’t you just listen to what I have to say?”

Gretchen covered her eyes with an eye cover. “Ah, because you’re you? I thought we went over this! I had a powerpoint presentation and everything!”

A small, satisfied smirk spread itself across Gretchen’s lips. Not much actually kept her entertained in this boring, lifeless so called “life”, but making fun of Block was one of the few pleasures.

Block narrowed his eyes, remembering a painful memory. “How could I forget? My family reunion, blind date and recent excursion to the toilet were definitely memorable.”

Block sighed as Gretchen popped in a bubble gum.

“You should really cut down on the bubble gum. That’s your 4000th piece… In the last 5 minutes.”

Gretchen closed her eyes, still feeling empty.

Heck, even annoying Block wasn’t as fun.

Was this really her story?

Would she never find a fri…

“Now, could you please call Brick, Savannah, Cavendish and Dakota to my office?” 

Gretchen’s eyes widened, if for a second.

She removed her eye cover and threw it to the side.

“Ow!”, went Keith, the man to her left. “Ooh! An eye cover! The prices this will go for in the black market!”

As the police rushed to arrest this criminal, Gretchen questioned Block. “Wait, Cavendish and Dakota? You mean the Cavendish and Dakota you fired with much maliace? The Cavendish and Dakota you whine about every day at exactly 17:37? The same Cavendish and Dakota that you commison piñatas of and destroy with flamethrowes every single day?

Block grinned satisfactorily. “Thousands of dollers well spent!”

He then resumed his seriousness.

“Now, back to business: Call them up to my office!”

Gretchen had to admit: This was definitely interesting.

“Well… What’s the occasion? Did you actually remove your head out of your…”

A truck passed, blocking (air horns) the last word.

“That you realized that they were essential?”

Gretchen definitely didn’t say that because she actually held a less than dirt poor opinion of one of them.

Even though he was the only one who ever noticed her.

Even though he was the only one who ever smiled at her.

Surely all those nice words about him were real.

Surely he was someone who could theoretically care…

“Ah, no. Of course not, they are the worst people to ever exist!”

Gretchen sighed and spun her chair.

This job suuuuuucccccckkkkeeeeeedddddd.

“The what is it, Captain Cretin?”, Gretchen asked, uninterested again.

Block grinned with anticipation at the competition tonight.

“I have a bowling match to win!”

Gretchen let the moment pass before hanging up.

She looked at the ceiling and sighed.

“Every day is the same thing.”

She tried to ignore the pain.

“Whoop de freaking doo.”

She couldn’t.

(“Brooklyn Nine Nine” theme plays as a series of small moments play)

(“Bowling For You” titles is shown as Block, Dakota, Cavendish, Savannah, Brick and Gretchen slowly walk towards the screen)

(“Vinnie Dakota” title blares in orange-red tint as we see Dakota try to squeeze an entire vending machine into his mouth)

(“Savannah” title blares in white tint as we see her ridiculously powerful heel keep the earth from spinning off somewhere else)

(“Balthazar Cavendish” title blares in green tint as we see him awkwardly Mom dance in a father daughter dance with Melissa, who is face palming, only for a steamroller to hit him)

(“Brick” title blares in black as Brick is on one end of a see saw. He tries to get it up, but he is instead blasted off to Fiji)

(“Gretchen” title blares in beige as Gretchen does absolutely nothing. She glares at the screen, as if to say “move on, already!”)

(“and Mr. Bob Block” title blares in Black and Red tint as Block sings “Chop Away At My Heart” in the shower, soap bubbles barely covering his… You know)

(Final group shot as they all walk towards the bowling alley, before transitioning into the actual episode)

The late October air and bristling snow did not add to the mood of the group as they walked towards the bowling alley.

Leading the line (and clearly the only one truly enthusiastic with this charade) was Mr. Block, a cocky grin on his face as he imagined Ms. Barrier suffering one failure after the next.

He could taste victory and it tasted like…

“Yecch! Natural weather cycles! Disgusting!”, Block cursed as some snow dropped on his tongue.

Suddenly, Block’s tongue got stuck on a lamp post.

“…I’ll remove him.”, Brick said, clearly suffering from all this idiocy.

“Finally. A reason to exist today.”, Gretchen dryly commented, and with a smug smile, she recorded the incident with her phone.

While Brick tried to remove Block, Dakota looked over at Savannah while Cavendish seemed to gaze out into the distance, deep in thought, and Gretchen, now bored of everyone else again, rolled her eyes and scrolled on her phone.

“So… Why are we doing this again?”, Dakota asked, curious as to why he was freezing his nipples off in the future instead of in the past.

Savannah noticeably looked flustered as she had to talk to Dakota.

While she had a proper excuse, it was definitely not Jack Frost who was giving her that pink blush.

He’s busy, anyway. Right, Jack?

(Yep!)

“Dakota! I… I didn’t see you there!”, Savannah lied, looking nervous in her white fur coat, with matching white mittens and hat.

Dakota blinked in confusion, his red and yellow outfit looking almost the same, with the addition of mittens and a hat that was knitted for him by Sara. It had “Snacky Dad” engraved on it, and he proudly wore it whenever he could.

“…How?”

Savannah turned around to hide her face as she coughed. “Never mind! What were you asking again?”

“Well, I was just wondering…”

Dakota leaned back on a car, setting off an alarm that blared across the neighborhood.

“Whoops. Um, SORRY, WHOEVER OWNS THIS CAR!”, Dakota shouted out over the loud sound.

“Foolish human. I am owned by no one.”, the car exclaimed, before driving off into the sunset.

“MY CAR! COME BACK! HOW CAN I PUT SALTED NUTS IN THE DIB’S HEAD WITHOUT YOU?!”, yelled a small green man in a fisherman’s outfit, sounding like Richard Horvitz, followed by a screeching robot in a bad dog costume.

Dakota scratched his head. “This is already such a confusing day.”

“It’s amazing that you all classify yourselves as high functioning adults.”, Gretchen remarked, her eyes not removing themselves from her phone for a minute.

Brick, who kept tugging on Mr. Block, nodded at Dakota. “Well said, Dakota! I very much agree! Isn’t that great, how similar we are?”

Gretchen groaned. It wasn’t that she wanted to be noticed, but it was, like, did no one actually want to notice her? Was it her?

Was she really that bad?

Dakota blinked again in confusion, due to what Brick said, before turning to Savannah. “Anyhow, I just wanted to know why we’re doing this.”

Now it was Savannah’s turn to be surprised. “Dakota, we all got an automated message. Didn’t you listen to yours?”

(Cutaway: Dakota is napping after a long day. He’s also had a very odd conversation with Cavendish, in which he tried to hug him, but Cavendish was oddly resistant, as if he was wary of his touch)

(“I could go for a nap of a few centuries. Wake me up when The History Channel stops being about Aliens building the pyramids!”)

(Suddenly, his phone beeped: “Agent/former agent or whatever, listen up! I need some help because I’m a real butt head who likes the sound of his own voice! Since I’m such a conceited douchba…”)

(Dakota takes the phone and throws it, and the phone lands in the sun)

Back in the present…

“In my defense, those things are very light.”, Dakota stated, sheepish.

Savannah couldn’t help a wry smile. “You make me wonder sometimes…”

She meant it in more ways than one. More than a year later, and she (and Brick and Block) still harbored not so secret crushes on Dakota.

How she wished she was in Cavendish’s position.

How ironic, then, that Cavendish had seemed to become disinterested in his relationship.

Wait, that wasn’t true.

He just felt…

Odd.

Like…

Something was missing.

He stole a glance at Dakota.

He had that winning smile.

…

Why did he not feel the same passion that that smile once incited?

Why did it feel like he could never earn its love again?

“So, if you really want to know, Block is taking us bowling because…”, Savannah started, but Block, finally free of the lamp post, flew in the air and landed on Savannah just in time to get to say it himself.

“Because Ms. Barrier, my arch rival, challenged me to a sport, and since I have to beat her or my life loses meaning, I chose bowling!”, Block explained.

Suddenly, he noticed that he was on Savannah.

“Oh, sorry Agent Savannah.”

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be.”, Savannah said with an angry glare, and she pushed him off angrily, walking off.

Dakota, Savannah, Brick and Cavendish all gave Mr. Block an annoyed look.

“Seriously? Besides, don’t you hate us?”, Dakota asked, confused.

Mr. Block dusted the snow off his pants, his red and black snow attire resembling his regular B.O.T.T outfit. And while he still earned the scorn from his employees and former employees, he still garnered some sort of respect.

“First of all: Almost no one else would have accepted. Secondly: I only need you to do this, ok? I’ll compensate. Give you a reward, ok?”

They had to admit: A reward would be nice.

“Ok, but it’s got to be something really good. Not like, one of those surprise capsules you get in stores that end up having, like, those really crappy knock off toys that break apart immediately.”, Brick remarked.

“Done and done!”, Block said, and he skipped merrily to the Bowling Alley. “I’m going to beat my rival! I’m going to beat my rival!”, he sang to his heart’s content.

“Can you believe this man is 67?”, Savannah remarked to Dakota with disgust.

“I know, right? I am SO mature!”, Mr. Block cried as he made snow angles.

As they neared the alleyway, Dakota recalled Ms. Barrier.

“Ah, that’s it! Ms. Barrier!”, he snapped his fingers. “She used to teach us at the academy!”

“Still does.”, Brick informed.

Dakota looked shocked. “The old hag is still at it?”

Savannah nodded, a hint of resentment in her voice. “Yep. She’s been all our teachers.”

Savannah mimicked a gun shot with her fingers as she looked at Dakota. “She used to tell me… To just shoot with no feeling. Gets them… Dead faster.”

While Brick and Cavendish had no idea what this all meant, Dakota did, and he put a comforting hand on Savannah’s shoulder, who was able to appreciate the gesture before getting all flustered again.

Jealous, Brick suddenly slid in between them. “So… We all hate Barrier?”, he said, throwing an arm over Dakota’s shoulder, making Savannah growl.

Brick growled back, but then Savannah took out her blaster, and Brick wisely chose to back off.

“Hoo boy, do I ever!”, Dakota said, surprising the others.

“Vinnie Dakota? Hates someone?”, Savannah said, and Brick expressed surprise too. Even Cavendish (who was still feeling uninterested) widened his eyes.

“Come on, guys. I might be a nice guy, but Barrier is the worst! She had this terrible philosophy on how you take down the assailant first, and only then do you question yourself. Some model for young individuals.”, Dakota explained, a clear disgust in his voice.

“That, and she used to tell me off all the time! Calling me an idiot and a no good dirt bag for arriving late to class, cutting class, accidentally setting the aquarium on fire. Like, I couldn’t help it that I was a sexy rebel! I’m better now! Now I’m a sexy good guy!”, Dakota complained, his arms out wide.

While Brick and Savannah coughed, Cavendish chimed in with his experience.

“Oh, she was harsh on us goody two shoes as well! In fact, just to get one in on her, I rebelled a bit in my last few days!”

That caught Dakota’s interest. His lips “Ooohed” as he questioned his partner. “Ooooh! What did you do?”

(Cutaway: Young Cavendish enters, and sits at his desk)

(Ms. Barrier (looking like a younger Judi Dench), holds out a sheet of paper and paces back and forth, calling out names)

“Peralta!”

“Here!”

“Santiago!”

“Here!”

“Cavendish!”

“Pr…Present!”, Younger Cavendish said, snickering as she approached him, huffing and puffing.

“IN MY CLASS, YOU SAY HERE! NOT PRESENT! THIS ISN’T MERRY OLD ENGLAND! THIS IS THE REAL WORLD!”, she bellowed, throwing Younger Cavendish through a wall.

Back in the present, Cavendish chuckled to himself. “Ooh! I was a naughty boy!”

Dakota went over to him and flirtatiously twisted a bit of his hair.

“Oooh, I didn’t know I was dating a bad boy…”, he said, trying to illicit a reaction.

Cavendish, looking nervous all of a sudden, shimmied out and went ahead next to Mr. Block.

“…”

“…”

“I don’t care for you, you don’t care for me. Let’s agree to never interact.”, Cavendish told Mr. Block.

“I would love that. Look me in the eye, and I will kill you.”

“Likewise.”

Dakota, feeling a little sad now, tried to play it off. “Um, ok, Cavendish! Let’s save the fun for later, when we’re alone!”

He fake laughed. “That Cavendish! Always up for fooling around in public spaces!”

Brick and Savannah shared a sympathetic glance before moving ahead of Dakota.

Dakota sighed.

What was up with Cavendish?

He was so aloof recently.

Could it be…

“Nah!”, Dakota waved off, eyes closed confidently.

It couldn’t be that!

They were perfectly fine!

…

Right?

As Dakota introspected, Gretchen (who was moving slowest) appeared next to him.

“Come on. Let’s get this over and done with. I have an empty meaningless life to get back to.”, Gretchen said.

“Join the club, we’ve got jackets.”, Dakota said, bummed out with the whole Cavendish situation.

Gretchen eyed him, confused.

“…It’s a joke. As if we’re a club of depressed middle aged people who feel unfulfilled. It’s also a Shrek reference.”, Dakota explained.

Gretchen normally ignored this kind of thing, but she felt the need to correct Dakota on his grave error.

“Ok, 1. I’m 35. That’s hardly middle aged.”

Dakota raised his arms in the air. “Sorry.”

Gretchen shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, just…”

Dakota smiled as he grabbed hold of the window of opportunity. “Then why was it an issue before? Your stories do not match, Ms. Gretchen.”

Gretchen rolled her eyes so far they nearly got stuck up there. “Stop messing around and… Wait…”

She got startled and confused. “…You know my name?”

Dakota didn’t get what made this so special. “…Um, why not? We were co-workers for 7 years! It couldn’t have been that bad that I’d forget!”, he laughed, nudging her in the side. 

Gretchen, slightly shaken, said “This is the first time someone has called me by name other than Block. I’m “Secretary Chick” and “You” to the rest.”

The silence was awkward, awkward in a way that Dakota was not used to.

They both coughed.

Dakota was about to say something else, when he realized something: He knew absolutely nothing about Gretchen.

Like, if there was a pub quiz about her, he’d get like, a 2/15 questions right (Drunk Dakota had a pub quiz success rate of “That Primal Scream Sounded Like The Name of the winners of the 1998 Academy Award For Best Sound Effects Editing, Tom Bellfort and Christopher Boyes!”). 

So Dakota decided to make some sort of small talk.

“…So, what do you do for fun?”, Dakota asked non chalantly.

Gretchen suddenly smirked. “Record messages of my boss and make him look like a moron. Remember the message you received today?”

Dakota nodded and Gretchen suddenly imitated Block’s voice, calling him a butt head again.

Dakota laughed for a moment, and grinned. “Not bad!”, he said, with a thumbs up, but Gretchen was not interested or used to so much human contact, so she suddenly disappeared.

“Don’t misunderstand. It’s me, not you. Professional jackass!” She said, and she ran off, flipping Dakota off.

Dakota scratched his head. “…She’s an odd one.”

As he arrived, he was surprised to see everybody behind the doors.

Block kept pulling and pulling, but he couldn’t open it.

“LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH!”, Block screamed, but he fell onto the ground instead.

“God doesn’t like you, I guess.”, Gretchen quipped, and she approached the door.

“Why won’t the door budge?”, Brick asked, confused.

“Maybe they’re closed.”, Cavendish reasoned.

The doors opened, Gretchen next to them.

“Or maybe you could push the doors?”, she offered.

They finally entered the alley, only for Block to grab them by the collar and move them to the back of a claw machine.

“All right! A Buzz Lightyear!”, some kid said, and he began to play the game.

Dakota caressed his neck, soothing the pain. “Geez, Block, if you wanna hurt me so bad, just use your words.”

“Sticks and stones…”, Cavendish said.

“Words should be in the Geneva convention, Cavendish. It’s just a fact! Like how the best food is free!”, Dakota remarked, before grabbing a free mint.

“Or that forcing your workers to play a benign game of revenge is, well, benign!”, Savannah added, annoyed.

“Or that Fluttershy is the best Pony!”, Brick said.

Everyone looked at him.

“Well… She is!”, Brick said defensively, clutching onto his Fluttershy plush/makeshift gun/long suffering psychiatrist.

“Really it’s Pinkie Pie.”, Dakota said.

“That’s a funny way of saying Rarity.”, Cavendish said.

“Please, everyone knows it’s Rainbow Dash.”, Savannah commented.

“Twilight Sparkle. Not that I give a crap.”, Gretchen said, popping bubble gum as she looked at her phone.

“Well, all of you are sad, it’s clearly Princess Celestia, since she gets to boss everyone and look cool doing it, but whatever!”, Block said, before getting knocked down by the force of the kids punch on the claw machine.

“Hey!”, he said, outraged that his Buzz Lightyear was being pulled down for some reason.

Block got up, feeling his back.

“I’ll be feeling that one…”

“Tomorrow?”, Dakota asked.

“Dakota, I’m 67. I’ll be feeling that in the goddamn grave. How can someone so hot be so dumb? I mean, get lost, b-baka!”, Block shouted.

“Um, I know we all got sidetracked, but why are we not going to play this inane game of revenge and madness?”, Cavendish asked, annoyed with all this and just wanting to go home so that he can continue to feel bad about something missing in his relationship with Dakota.

“And Knuckles.”, Dakota thought.

“Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series.”, Brick thought.

“Now featuring Funky Mode.”, Savannah thought.

Block suddenly remembered. “Ah, yes! I wanted us to do a cool slow-mo walk to our zone!”

Everyone exchanged looks.

“…Yeah, we can do that.”

“Could be fun, no? A real team building exercise!”, Dakota pitched, hoping the others would brighten up. Morale was at an all time low, right now.

“Ok, let’s make this lit!”, Block said, putting on a pair of sunglasses. “Dab!”

Beat.

“Dibs on killing him and then everyone in the room.”, Savannah said.

“Darn! I was going to do that!”, Cavendish said.

The camera suddenly cut to a slow mo walk from the gang as “X Gon Give It To Ya” by DMX (Clean Version) played.

While it plays, we see the gang walk in slow mo at the screen (read: their zone) looking around them, pretending to be cool: Block leads, T-Posing to assert his dominance and occasionally dabbing, Savannah, behind Block and standing on the left, scoffing at Block’s idiocy but still strutting fabulously, Brick, meanwhile, is on Savannah’s right, straightening his jacket to look cool and winking at the ladies (the 80 year old ladies, to be specific), Cavendish, behind Brick, is tipping his hat to the same old ladies, Dakota, right to Cavendish, shoots finger guns at the snack counter guy, and Gretchen, making the rear, continues to look at her phone and flips them off. 

As the song continues to play, Block suddenly slips on the slippery floor because he wasn’t looking. His dab smashes into Savannah’s head, and she flails dramatically, accidentally pulling Brick’s hands. Brick’s hands, which were tugging at his winter clothes, end up ripping Brick’s winter clothes off. Brick, now in tighty whites, falls from the shock onto Cavendish, who gets squashed by the large back of the secret agent, and his hat rolls off onto Dakota’s foot, who slips on the hat and pokes himself in the eyes with his finger guns, causing him to yell out. 

“X gon give it to ya

@#$% wait for you to get it on your own

X gon deliver to ya

Knock knock, open up the door, it's real

With the non-stop, pop pop and stainless steel

Go hard gettin’ busy with it

But I got such a good heart

I'll make a @#$% wonder if he did it

Damn right and I'll do it again

Cuz I am right so I gots to win

Break bread with the enemy

But no matter how many cats I break bread with

I'll break who you sendin’ me

You @#$% never wanted nothin’

But your wife said, that's for the light day

I'm gettin’ down, down

Make it say freeze

But won't be the one endin’ up on his knees (Whoo)”

The song abruptly cuts, and everyone is on the floor, groaning in pain.

Everyone that is, except for Gretchen, who walks over them, still flipping them off, a sly grin on her face.

“What’s the matter? Too slippery?”, she taunted, and she ice skated around the floor, before immediately returning to her phone.

Dakota, still one the floor, shot back. “You mind helping us up?”

Gretchen shook her head. “Oh I do. I think I’ll stay here and do nothing.”

“So just the usual?”, Dakota remarked.

Gretchen started getting bitey. “Don’t judge me, Mr. High and Mighty!”

As they all got up, Dakota was startled at this. “I’m not. I think you should have helped us up, but I don’t think I get to tell you how to live. It was a harmless joke. You know, like your taunt from before?”

Gretchen hated it, but he was sort of right.

She bit her lip, her ears a little red as she pouted.

Dakota grinned humorously. “Your sense of humor isn’t bad, but you could work on your ability to laugh at yourself.”

Suddenly, Dakota slipped again, and he took Block, Brick, Savannah and Cavendish down with him.

As they all nursed their heads, Gretchen cheekily slid up to him and assumed a smug grim.

“And you could work on your balance.”

CLICK!

Gretchen flipped the phone into her pocket with a flourish. “A real keeper!”

As the others got up, Block suddenly sniffed the air, almost like a hound dog, moving all around the floor with his nose.

“…Well, it’s official: He’s gone insane.”, Savannah dryly remarked.

“Dibs on calling the mental ward.”, Brick quipped with a smug smile.

“Darn!”, Cavendish cursed, snapping his fingers. “Beaten to the punch again!”

Block shushed them, and resumed his sniffing.

“Look, Lassie, I admire your efforts, but little Timmy is stuck in an existential crisis, not a well.”, Dakota barbed, but Block got up, alert, his eyes narrowing.

“Shut it, handsome! Don’t you see? That smell of gunpowder… That feeling of superiority and judgment in the air… The unmistakable hint of power hungry madness… A waft of Britney Spears Perfume…”

“That’s me. My bad.”, Brick said, sniffing his armpit. “Musky!”

“Not really.”, Gretchen joked.

“And a pinch of sass. You really need to put this dog down, rookies.”

Everyone (but Gretchen) looked up to see who else but Ms. Barrier.

Now looking like an older Judi Dench (with a little Jane Lynch in her voice), Ms. Barrier was, in some senses, a genderbent Mr. Block: They were both senior citizens (though Barrier’s white as snow hair betrayed her age faster), they were both high ranking members of B.O.T.T (in fact, Barrier was the longest serving and youngest member of the organization, at 58 years and 18 years old respectively), and they were both hated by their peers.

But everyone could agree on one key difference:

Barrier was competent, useful, and she got the job done.

Block was a clown who got the job thanks to the time guardian’s lack of interest outside of their own little pockets of life.

This match of wits was about as evenly matched as a caged fight between a hydra and a three toed sloth.

“Still groveling at my feet, eh?”, she asked with a self satisfied smirk.

“Barrier! I did feel an icy wind enter the alley!”, Block shouted though gritted teeth.

“Actually, I think it’s coming from the AC. Someone should really turn it off, it’s October.”, Dakota observed.

“Don’t interrupt this preliminary round of insults!”, Block scolded.

“Was that an insult, Blocky? I couldn’t feel it. You’re getting slow, old man.”, Barrier taunted with a confident grin.

“Barrier!”, Block growled.

“Blocky.”, Barrier taunted again, with an evil smirk.

“Brick!”, Brick called, hoping someone would notice him.

No one did.

As Brick’s lip trembled, Block and Barrier walked up to each other, slowly, surely, both on the hunt, ready to kill.

Dakota, eating from a jumbo bucket of popcorn, commented to Savannah without looking at her. “This is sad.”

“SO sad!”, Savannah agreed, and she grabbed a modest amount of his popcorn.

Block huffed as he circled Barrier, the two locked in a dance of hate. “So, you’ve finally come to confess to your inferiority to me!”, Block snarled confidently.

He wouldn’t lose this time!

777th time the charm!

Barrier scoffed and snorted, clearly giving this less effort than Block, because she could. “Oh, I’m sorry, Blocky. Sorry that I even considered you fit for a challenge! I’ve met comatose septegenarians with more of a fight in them!”

“Burrnnnn!”, Dakota called humorously.

“Zing.”, Gretchen said, without looking up from her phone.

“Police! There has been a murder in the building!”, Cavendish finished with a fake distressed voice.

Block, eyes mad now, fought for a comeback.

“Well, um, I… I think that you really suck!”

Barrier took a moment, before looking him dead in the eye and going “…I’m sorry? What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of God regretting your existence.”

“Oh, boy. Block’s got nothing on her.”, Dakota remarked.

“What’s sad is that this isn’t making me want to help him win. And I HATE Barrier.”, Savannah added, and everyone nodded. This was not boding well for Block and his “team”.

Suddenly, Savannah awkwardly took hold of Dakota’s hand.

Dakota looked at her, confused by the turn of events.

“Um… No offense, but… You’re holding my hand.”

Savannah stammered, a nervous air around her. “Um… Because I thought you might have a terrorist on your hand!”

Savannah inspected the hand with an examining eye. “…Nope! No terrorists here!”, she said, and she let go of the hand.

Dakota shrugged. “Well, can’t be too safe…”

Suddenly, he felt his other hand get held, and he looked to his left to find Brick.

“…You have two hands, so we should check both, no?”, Brick said with a guilty smile.

Dakota nodded, gullible. “That does make sense! Carry on, Brick!”

Cavendish, now concerned for his safety, held out his hands to be inspected, but Savannah slapped him away.

Cavendish had an anxiety scream, like that Yoshi’s Garden theme.

Gretchen sighed. “Ok, this is getting too pathetic, even for me.”

She started to walk off.

Dakota looked at her questioningly. “Wait, you’re not helping us? We’re all a team here!”

Gretchen smiled smugly again. “Bowling rules: 4 players a team at least. Which means you are more than reinforced.”

She bowed at them in a ridiculous fashion. “Sayonara, losers!”

She then took a smoke bomb and threw it on the ground, disappearing.

…

Only to reappear to grab a stale sandwich from a passing plate.

Noticing that all eyes were on her, Gretchen quickly stuffed the sandwich into her mouth, and took out another smoke bomb.

“I was never here.”, she said with a slightly full mouth, bits of bread sticking out. 

“…But… You are…”, Dakota said, confused.

Gretchen swallowed, cringed at the boring taste, and then grinned smugly, a cocked eyebrow appearing. “…Am I?”

And she then threw another smoke bomb and disappeared, this time officially.

As Dakota scratched his head, Block was down on the ground, blocking his ears as Barrier kept insulting him.

“You have the mental capacity of an empty toothpaste tube! You’ve got the kind of face only a mother would love, and she’d still hate you! I know what I am but what are you?”

“Stop, foul witch! Stop!”, Block pleaded for mercy.

Barrier let out a sinister chuckle, enjoying Block’s misery, and then she directed her attention to the rest of the team.

“Ah! I see that some of my old pupils are here!”, she said, greeting them in a mocking tone, her arms outstretched in fake greeting.

She walked up to Savannah, the latter trying her best to avoid her gaze.

Despite her conversation with Dakota, Savannah still felt like she had to behave for society.

She still felt like she had to bend over backwards to please them.

In fact, the only person she felt comfortable in being herself with was Dakota, a big reason as to why she wanted to win his heart.

“Agent Savannah. I remember when you were just a rookie.”, Barrier said, with a tone of disrespect, sniveling almost at her former pupil.

Savannah continued to avoid the cold stare, the one that mocked without saying a word.

“Ms. Barrier. It’s… Been too long.”, she lied through her teeth, hoping that the formality would grant her freedom.

“No it hasn’t.”, Barrier shot back with a mean grin.

She circled her, observing the grown woman as if she were mere cattle.

She tutted as she examined her biceps. “Too bad. Still so weak and frail. And I’ve seen your record. Still no kills.”

She shook her head. “The world is changing, Agent Savannah. Perhaps it’s time you finally accept reality, and change too.”

She then shook her head slightly. “And I see that your figure is still disappointing.”

Savannah growled, her body shaking with rage now.

Ms. Barrier took this to her advantage. “And still not in control of your emotions. Pitiful, really.”

She lowered her voice to a dark, vengeful whisper. “Still so overrated…”

That’s it.

Dakota knew that Savannah would allow herself to suffer, but he wouldn’t.

“STRIKE! STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE!”, rang the computer automated voice from a far away area of the alley, air horns blaring loudly.

Dakota stepped in between them, not noticing the pair of eyes that were now trained on him, as another bowling ball rolled down in the other area.

Dakota extended his arms, effectively blocking Savannah from harm, which only worsened her blush, and he looked up at Ms. Barrier, showing an admirable lack of fear.

“Hey! Knock it off! Savannah is the best agent in the bureau (no offense, Brick), and you have no right to belittle her like that!”, he shot, a dark and serious look on his face.

It may have been more than a year ago, but Dakota had not forgotten what Savannah had told him at “Chez Chaz” all that time ago.

He then lowered his voice to a whisper, but his tone was no less furious.

“And I know how you treated her. So back off, before I get real ticked off.”

It was a level of rage that surprised Dakota himself. He had never been this angry.

Barrier didn’t even flinch, though, instead choosing to return the direct stare at Dakota, that smug smile still displayed on her face.

“…Vinnie Dakota. My, my. It has been a while, hasn’t it? More than 8 years ago.”

She jeeringly ruffled his hair. “You loved playing rebel back then, if I recall. Greasing up your hair, wearing leather jackets… And all the trouble you’d cause when you were bored…”

She sneered, her words lodging at Dakota’s guilt.

Making him remember past mistakes…

The Halloween device…

The baby parents…

The Diameter AU…

The vivid feeling of cold stone floors and hurt friends sent a shiver in his spine, but he stood his ground, refusing to budge to the likes of her. 

“That person is dead. Buried forever.”, he said sharply, almost to himself.

Barrier edged closer. “Wish I’d attended the funeral.”

She pushed him aside, making him fall.

“Unfortunately, I couldn’t care less. You were always a mistake waiting to happen, Dakota. And you always will be.”

As Dakota picked himself up, a sad frown on his face, he could swear he head a “bi#%!” uttered somewhere in the alley, but the sound of another “Strike!” silenced it.

Barrier then laid her eyes on Cavendish.

“You… You have a lot of nerve to speak like that to my…”

Cavendish was going to say boyfriend, but some kind of compulsion made him say “friend” instead.

“…To my friend like that.”, he said, but his voice was unsure, and his will was weak.

Barrier lightly chuckled. This was too easy.

“Balthazar Cavendish. The good boy with the rule breaker. How utterly cliché.”

She scoffed, earning a look of scorn from Dakota. “Why don’t you stop playing hero and run back to your daddy? I’m sure he’d LOVE to know how you’ve turned out…”

THAT silenced Cavendish, and he shrunk from the challenge.

“Clever boy.”, she said with a smirk, and she began to turn around.

Brick, annoyed by this woman’s behavior (especially to Dakota, that special man!), called out to her.

“Hey! You can’t just treat people like this!”

Ms. Barrier turned around, and with the ghost of a smile, knocked Brick out for the count with one sentence: “…Who are you?”

Brick sputtered in disbelief. “Agent Brick! I learned with you the same time as Agent Savannah! I… I am the number 1 agent at B.O.T.T!”

Savannah and Dakota shared a knowing look, before Savannah again had to hide her feelings from him.

“Whatever. I do not have time for this. The game is about to start, anyway. Get dressed, all of you!”

They looked curiously at each other. “…We’re not your team.”

Ms. Barrier let out a fake laugh. “Oh, you will all be soon enough. Blocky here won’t last long. I am the future of B.O.T.T. And trust me, no matter how much you hate me, you’ll never hate me more than him.”

“Could you clarify? Do you mean we’ll never hate you as much as we hate him, or as much as he hates you?”, Brick asked.

No answer.

Brick screamed like the Yoshi Flower Garden theme.

And with that said, she left with a flourish to the changing room to get her bowling team outfit and shoes on.

The rest of “Team” Block looked at each other with unease. Their morale was at an all time low, no one cared about playing, and, well…

“…Is she gone?”, Mr. Block asked, hiding inside Cavendish’s moustache.

“Sigh. Yes, sir. She is.”, Cavendish informed, clearly done with all this.

Block left the moustache and collected himself. “Ok, so… Let’s get dressed and win this thing for my fragile ego, ‘kay?”

Everyone sort of shrugged, except for Dakota, who enthusiastically nodded.

He wanted to win this for his friends.

He wanted to restore their honor against that awful woman!

Also, Dakota thought Bowling could be fun!

After a quick change of clothes and shoes, the team gathered around a table, preparing for the game.

At first, they thought that moral could only get higher.

But Block had managed to do the impossible: He had found a way to go lower than rock bottom.

At first, no one could say a word, as shock had affected their voice boxes since the dressing rooms.

Finally, though, it was Brick who spoke.

“…Excuse me, sir, but… WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THIS?!”

Mr. Block crossed his arms, annoyed at this insubordination. “I don’t see how T-Shirts of my naked bod with “God’s Chosen Buff Stud” are wrong!”

“…Excuse me while I throw up.”, Said Brick, disgusted at this utter show of egotism.

“And you think Dakota could ever love you.”, Brick whispered as he passed Block.

Block angrily turned to him and whispered back. “He’s mine, wuss!”

As the two bickered (more like BRICKERED AM I RIGHT?!), Cavendish sighed loudly and tightened his shoe laces.

“So, this is off to a fantastic start. I hope this won’t be too much of a disaster. My apologies beforehand, but I do not know how to play. Could anyone guide me through the rules?”, he asked innocently, only to be met with the puzzled faces of Dakota and Savannah.

“…I don’t know either. And I’ve played every sport known to man, including Curling.”, Savannah remarked.

“You played curling?”, Cavendish asked, intrigued.

He sat down on the chair, legs spread between the back spine.

Savannah folded her arms on the table top and sat too. “Yep. Some major cheese embezzling going on in the league. Had to play a few games.”

“What was it like?”

“The worst thing ever. I was more in danger of dying of boredom than of a fight.”

Cavendish nodded, before turning his eyes to Brick and Block, who were choking each other with their belts, pants around their ankles now.

“Well, do one of you “fine” gentlemen know how to play?”, Cavendish asked, an oddly calm tone to his voice.

Brick shook his head, and due to not focusing, he started to choke and lose air as Block spoke.

“Uh, yeah, funny story… Me neither. I sort of chose it out of panic. Hilarious, right?”

As Savannah gave him a wild look, Cavendish approached Block in a surprisingly calm fashion.

“So, let me get this straight: You dragged me out of my house, and out of my life, to go to the future with people I don’t care about, sorry other people…”

“Yeah, it’s ok. We don’t care about you too.”, Brick, Savannah and Gretchen (from afar) responded.

“…Yes, and all that because of some silly petty grudge you have, and you’re telling me that you don’t even know how to play the game YOU chose?”, Cavendish asked, voice still chillingly calm.

Block nodded his head, missing the point. “Oh, yes! You totally got that! Excellent analysis!”

Cavendish took a deep breath. “Ok.”

He took out a long range missile launcher.

“How many different ways do you want to die?”

Block gulped, but thankfully Dakota lowered the gun.

“Balthy, come on! You’re better than this.”

Cavendish seemed less sure.

“Dakota, look at this! We’re playing a sport we don’t know how to play, for a jerky sad old man we all despise (“Hey!”, Block protested), against someone we also despise, Brick is screaming like a tax dodging dinosaur and if that wasn’t enough, we’re all dressed up terribly! Except you, you totally pull it off.”

“Yeah he does.”, Brick whispered.

“Mmmhm.” Savannah whispered.

“Does Wolf Whistle with big Anime eyes.”, Block whispered, reading his script.

“How can you possibly find a bright side to this?”, Cavendish asked, annoyed.

Dakota turned to the very annoyed and very demotivated “team”.

He stood up on the table, and adopted his most encouraging grin as inspirational piano music started playing.

“Guys, I know that this hasn’t been the best start…

“Understatement of the year.”, Savannah commented.

Dakota continued. “And I know that we’d all rather do something else!”

“Existential moping is a damn sight better than this.”, Brick and Cavendish informed, with Savannah nodding.

“And I know that Mr. Block is a real dumbass…”

“Hey!”, Mr. Block said, before being conked with an orange.

“…Who sells Oranges in a Bowling Alley?”, Block wondered.

Mr. Drako, dressed up like an orange, looked at him and shushed him.

Dakota waited for silence and resumed his speech.

“…And I know that we’re all pretty depressed thanks to Ms. Barrier, and that we’re probably all pretty pooped from a long day, and that none of us know how to bowl! In fact, we probably suck at bowling! We’re probably the worst at bowling! We probably can’t hit a cow’s pattotie with a banjo!”

Everyone started exchanging odd glances. Was there a “but” coming?

“AND I know that we all have our own character arcs right now that are way more important than some dumb bowling match!”

Brick coughed awkwardly and Cavendish shook his head sorrowfully. When even Dakota is struggling to motivate you, you know that things are bad.

Dakota himself looked a little worried now as he searched for the but.

“…But!...”

But the but didn’t show up, except for the but that was in the sentence, but that but doesn’t count, since it was just a pre-prepared placeholder, desperately hoping for a backup.

…Anyhow, Dakota was lost for ideas.

Dakota looked at Block, but he knew: None of them, not even Dakota himself liked him. He was a miserly jerk, self obsessed and dangerously egotistical.

Sure, Barrier was worse, but the lesser of two evils is still pretty far from the tree, or gets the grease, or however that saying goes.

In short, Block was not the bee’s knees, and Dakota knew that.

So, wouldn’t his motivation mean diddly squat?

Wouldn’t it be a lie?

…

For once, there was no point. No gain. No lives made better by doing this.

For the first time in a long time, Dakota felt…

Hopeless.

And unmotivated for others.

“Man…”, Dakota thought, feeling a pang of guilt as he stood on the table, feeling utterly useless.

“Not having any responsibility to help actually sucks more than having it.”

He sadly got off the table with a small, melancholy thud and he looked at the “team”, all of whom looked downright depressed.

“…(Sigh). Let’s just get this over with.”, Dakota said, feeling decidedly unlike himself.

He slumped his shoulders as he and the others moved to their aisle, feeling nothing but…

Emptiness.

This…

This was a day without meaning.

How sucky was that?

If only Dakota had noticed the pair of small, almost sympathetic eyes glance at him as he moved forwards to his place.

As they lined up, Ms. Barrier showed up with her team.

“Oy vey…”, Dakota exclaimed as 4 towering giants appeared before their eyes.

“Pillar Men” from “JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” played as the four giants posed, flexing their pecks, biceps and finger muscles.

“Finger strength, baby!”, one said, and his finger suddenly got ripped.

Savannah gulped. “I didn’t realize humans could get this… Developed!”

Brick held his head in alarm. “Look at them! They must do a lot of running to get such lovely buns and thighs!”

One of the players posed and winked at Brick. “Ya! Buns and thighs!”

As Brick tried to get over his gay panic for this random Swedish accented player so he could revert to his regularly scheduled gay panic for Dakota, Dakota turned his attention to Barrier.

“Where did you find these guys? On BuffStuds.Com?”

Barrier smirked again, as she lifted a bowling ball with a small bit of difficulty.

“Oh, Dakota! You are so pitifully naïve. These are the 4 best bowlers of all time, according to a December 2016 ranking, since I couldn’t find a more recent one!”

She threw the bowling ball, and the Swedish Number 1 in the world Martin Larsen swallowed it whole.

“Yum yum. Tastes like the souls of bowlers I’ve beaten. My intestines are the bowling shadow realm”

Cavendish chuckled nervously. “That’s a weird flex.”

“Very true, though.”, Larsen said intimidatingly before sniffing Cavendish. “You smell of relationship struggles and commitment problems. Very good.”

As Cavendish’s heart fell from his chest, Barrier presented the other bowlers. “I had to do a bit of time travelling, but what’s a bent rule or two if it means that the right people win?”, she explained.

She patted the back of each one as she passed them. “You’ve met Martin Larsen.”

“Unfortunately.”, Brick commented.

“Well, here are Dominic “The Dominator” Barrett from England, Jason Belmonte from Australia and Osku Palermaa of Finland!”

As the bowlers posed again, Dakota couldn’t help but ask a question. “Wait, I just googled these guys, and they all looked ugly as sin back in the day (not that I judge. Beauty is from the inside). How are they steaming hunks?”

Barrier shook her head. ”I don’t know!”

The characters looked at the author.

“…I don’t know! I just wanted some buff studs!”

Everyone nodded, understanding. “That’s fair.”

“But this isn’t fair! These are the best of the best! And we have never played a game!”, Cavendish complained, outraged at this injustice.

Barrier went over to her seat and took a sip of her jet black coffee. “Nothing in the rules against it. Now, why don’t you get on with it? I am getting tired of waiting for you to lose miserably.”

The “team” all looked at each other with hesitation and fear. Sure, they didn’t really want to do it anyway, but now they were going to get creamed. None of their fragile egos could take that.

“Look, guys, I get that this looks bad, but we should at least try, no? In case some kids are here, in need of positive role models who don’t quit?”, Dakota said, wishing that there were some kids who he could inspire, since clearly there was no valid reason to do this.

And that scared Dakota.

“Such a good father figure!”, Richard Chase, who was serving snacks at the counter, exclaimed.

“Well, I guess we should hop to it.”, Cavendish said, and he hopped to the edge of the lane.

“We’re being literal today, honey.”, Dakota said with a smile, but once again, Cavendish didn’t respond.

Dakota sighed. Bad enough that he had no good deeds to accomplish with this outing, but now he also had to deal with a non-responsive boyfriend.

This day was getting real sucky.

And he still felt an odd sensation, as if he was being watched…

By more than one person.

An inhuman air could be felt around him, and he shivered and hugged himself.

For a moment, he was sure that he felt an oddly familiar hand on his shoulder, a sensation that he hadn’t felt since…

He looked up, but all he saw was an air vent, black and rusty, dark and gloomy, sitting next to a motionless and noisy ceiling fan.

Dakota sighed again, the sight of brownish white walls, brown wooden tables, and displeased faces depressing him. Such dull colors, such uninspiring sights. 

He so desperately wanted to do the right thing, to help those who needed help. He could feel it in his bones. 

Dakota just couldn’t help it, he was someone who cared. 

He cared for a boyfriend who has seemed to give up on reciprocating that.

He cared for co-workers who had treated him like garbage.

He cared for a bunch of kids that he had no relation to.

He cared for an entire planet that viewed him as a funny guy, as nothing more than a joke.

It was depressing sometimes.

Downright disheartening.

It felt like life was constantly trying to beat down on him, constantly trying to convince him that…

That…

That there was no hope.

That this life, this immensely infuriating but incredible life was meaningless.

That other people were meaningless. 

Were they?

Was Dakota’s love for people pointless?

Dakota sighed morosely as his eyes gazed at the alley.

Even the sight of a slightly less melancholy snack bar did nothing to alleviate his mood, though the soothing smell of Breakfast Burritos and cold Soda didn’t hurt.

What a surprise then that he could detect nearly everything that was happening, except for a cold, inhuman voice that let out an artificial sigh.

“Vinnie…”, he wailed, almost, as he observed the man he was observing for more than a year.

“So close… But not yet.”

And thus, he retreated to a back room, to finish up his plan. 

Having taken the bowling ball in his hands, Cavendish stepped up, sure of his chances.

“This is simple, really! How hard is it to hit some pins?”, Cavendish said to the others, and they all nodded, a little less unsure.

“He has a point: How hard can it be? It’s just target practice!”, Brick pointed out, before triggering a memory for Savannah.

“While you’re busy imparting your vengeance on the world or whatever, the villain is making his getaway.”

“Let go of your feelings and shoot the bloody thief.” 

“One shot, one hit, one kill. Don’t feel.”

Savannah shudders again.

Barrier wanted to create a monster of her.

And it was probably too late anyway.

Savannah fought back a tear while Cavendish threw the ball and looked back at them with a smug grin, his eyes closed.

“See? Nothing to it…”, he started, before getting dragged with the ball into the pins, smashing his head onto the wall and somehow missing every single one.

Oh, and then the bowling ball hit him on the head, still missing all the pins.

“Ooh! That doesn’t bode well.”, Dakota remarked sadly, while Brick, Savannah and Mr. Block lifted signs that said “10”.

“YA THINK?”, Cavendish shouted, embarrassed beyond belief.

Ooh…

Can you feel it?

It feels like…

MONTAGE TIME!

Frame 1: After Cavendish’s colossal miss, now came his second chance. “I won’t fluff it this time!”, Cavendish said, and he threw the ball at the pins. But the ball suddenly stopped and turned around back to Cavendish. “Look, dear, I just don’t feel your enthusiasm. We used to be so in synch, and now? Well, you need to decide: Do you want to commit? I won’t make you choose, I’m not like that. This is your choice. If you want to be together, then I’m all for it, but, well, if you don’t… Then let’s not force each other. Goodbye… Cavendish.” And the bowling ball rolled out of the place. Cavendish stared back at them wide eyed. “…I… I don’t know.” SCORE: 0-0

Frame 1 (Continued): After that incredibly normal moment, Martin Larsen came up to the ball. He coddled it, giving it a kiss. “Do you feel like succeeding today?” The ball nodded excitedly. “Ok”, Martin said calmly. “Then you just go in. Take your time, there’s no rush.” He let the ball go in gracefully, and it slowly but soothingly rolled as a chorus of violins softly accompanied the journey. Finally, after a few glorious seconds, the ball gently knocked all the pins down. And then it did it a second time. Martin clapped vigerously, as did Block’s “team”. Block gave them a stink eye. “…It’s not like we really care about you.”, Brick said. SCORE: 0 – 30 (Strikes are basically double points, look it up)

Frame 2: Block pushed Brick to the lane, and Brick picked up the ball while cursing Block. “Ok, ball. Let’s show everyone who’s the second sexist man in the alley! This is for Dakota!”, he said, and he took a step forwards, which made him crash through the floor. After stepping out, the quite dizzy Brick, with bits of wood and dust covering his hair, threw the ball, which missed, hit the wall, and somehow flung back to break 10 glasses of soda. “THIS IS GOING ON YOUR BILL, TIME BUREAU!”, a new bartender called. As Brick face palmed, the ball returned. “Well, at least I have a second go!”, Brick said, but suddenly, as he threw the ball, it jumped back onto his face. “I’M THE SEXIST MAN IN THE BUILDING!”, the ball shouted, and it then left with two pins at its side. “That’s how it is.”, he said to the screen and winked. Brick, knocked out, waved a white flag. “Please… Have mercy on my soul.” SCORE: 0 - 30

Frame 2 (continued): Dominic “The Dominator” Barrett stepped up, and with a piruette, he takes down both sets, gaining another 30 points. Block’s “team” all raise “10” signs, which pisses off Block. Meanwhile, Gretchen from somewhere else raises a “Whatever” sign. She then sighs, alone with no one else to laugh with her. SCORE: 0 – 60

Frame 3: Savannah takes the ball, and takes a deep breath. Surely she can do this. She steps up, but before she can throw the ball, a stampede of steam rollers, rabid Raccoons, Llamas and Certified Public Accountants run over her. The ball slips and collides onto a bunch of tables, breaking them. “THIS IS GOING ON YOUR BILL TOO!”, the bartender shouted. Savannah, now humiliated, stepped up to throw the ball, but suddenly, the pins started changing. Turning into Ms. Barrier. Savannah rubbed her eyes, but they were still there, taunting her, telling her to kill them. To do what’s natural. Savannah’s fingers shake as she tries to throw the ball, but she can’t bring herself to metaphorically kill the pins. She has to be good. She has to be as good as Dakota. She can’t be the monster. She sits down, almost broken, as the ball rolls off to somewhere else. Ms. Barrier laughs at the sight as Savannah returns to her chair, hiding herself from the others, recoiling from her own touch as she attempts to hug herself. SCORE: 0 – 60

Frame 3 (Continued): Jason Belmonte stepped up, and with a blindfold, throws the bowling ball, which knocks both sets down in lightning speed whilst singing “Hello My Baby!”. Belmonte goes on to pet it, and Dakota also tries, only to get growled at. SCORE: 0 - 90

Frame 4: Mr. Block steps up, confident and cocky as ever. “Let me show you how it’s done!”, Block bragged, eyes closed. He then does that “Flintstones” tip toe thing, you know, the one Fred Flintstone does when he bowls, but of course, Mr. Block triggers a mine that sets off a vortex that sucks in Blocks two bowling balls and his hair. The vortex then suddenly spits out Block’s mother at him. “I am disappointed in you. Also, you’re not in the will. Oh, and it’s time we had… THE TALK.” Block lets out a scream of agony while Barrier cackles at this spectacle. SCORE: 0 – 90.

Frame 4 (Continued): Osku Palermaa steps up, and becomes the bowling ball. As everyone stares wide eyed, he rolls onto the pins with “I Came In Like A Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cirus playing. Two strikes, yet again. Osku reverted to human form, and smiled at the camera. “I guess you could say we’re on a… “Roll”!”

Cue “Seinfeld” bass drop. SCORE: 0 - 120

Frame 5: Finally, Dakota stepped up. 

Almost halfway through the game, things were looking bad. REAL bad. 

This may be their last chance to catch up. 

Dakota took a deep breath, looking back at his fellow “teammates”. 

Doubt and hesitation filled his thoughts. 

Once again, he pondered the point of all this. 

What would it accomplish? 

Was servicing an ego trip really worth it? 

Was he actually helping anyone? 

Dakota hated feeling so helpless, so hopeless and so down, but he did. 

He inserted his fingers into the ball, but he felt nothing. 

He stepped up to the lane, but he felt nothing. 

The prayers of Block, the silent sobs of Savannah, the small exclamations of pain from Brick, the silent distance of Cavendish… 

These people, they didn’t really care. 

Would winning help Savannah with her self hate, fears, trauma and forced silence?

No.

It would not ease and quell her pain, a simple bowling match could never do that.

Would winning make Brick less desperate for approval? 

Less depressed with his seeming uselessness? 

No.

It would only make Brick brag, which would inevitably lead to more disappointment.

Would this match tear down the wall between him and Cavendish?

No.

Why would it?

For that to happen, they would need to talk about it.

And Dakota was NOT ready for that conversation.

Especially ‘cause he knew the truth.

He didn’t deserve someone like Cavendish.

He didn’t deserve anyone.

Was…

Was Barrier right?

Was he just a mistake, waiting to happen?

Dakota looked at Savannah, at Brick, at Cavendish.

Over the past year, he had done so much to try and help them.

When he and Brick were stuck in an elevator, Dakota had learned that the brawny, sort of brainless buffoon with a bloated ego was, in actuality, a sad soul longing for companionship, for affection.

A fellow goofball who needed that most selfish yet understandable thing: Love.

And Dakota said he could give it to him.

And Dakota had, back then, thought that he had helped.

That he had given Brick something.

But had he?

The poor man was still as clingy as ever, now gazing longingly at a picture of Dakota, while still managing to keep his hair perfectly coifed with a makeshift comb made of wood splinters, severed fingers and rocky road ice cream.

Brick had somehow gotten worse.

And Savannah.

Poor Savannah, who Dakota had grown so fond of during that fateful dinner they had shared at “Chez Chaz”.

What had started as a brief meeting between slightly antagonistic former co-workers turned into a night of bonding, of sharing, of love.

Hearts joined in unity as Savannah expressed her self hate, something which Dakota could greatly relate to.

Dakota could not bear seeing a woman who was clearly better than she seemed feel like that.

Be bullied by society like that.

Wait, scratch that: He couldn’t bear seeing ANYONE feel and endure that.

So he had tried his best, he had laid his heart and his cards on the table, nothing to hide from her.

And what had that done?

Savannah was a tiny bit more open, but she was still so easily scared back into being proper. Just look at how Barrier was playing her! If Savannah was being herself, she would have buried that awful woman, she would have given her a piece of her mind.

But instead…

Savannah yielded, once again, allowing herself to be the victim.

To be someone else.

And Cavendish?

The man who drove him nuts, both in anger and in love?

The man he could say anything to, and enjoy the reaction each time?

The man he could mess around with, could relax with, could be himself with, and maybe, just maybe, for one golden moment, like himself with?

The man… Who he had risked all to save his life countless times?

The man… That he loved?

Now… The man he was sure he had helped, the man he was sure he had saved, and had given to him the freedom to be himself, now was distant, cold, alone.

Not interested in being happy, off somewhere in his own world.

Maybe it wasn’t Dakota.

Perhaps Cavendish just felt that he hadn’t earned such love.

Perhaps Cavendish felt let down with himself too.

Because as Dakota readied his throw, a terrible truth rang in his ears, and his soul wept.

…He…

…He had done nothing in the end.

All his words of encouragement, all his actions of caring, all his big risks, all his love…

It had meant nothing.

The people he had “helped”?

They were even worse off now.

Because Dakota hadn’t done enough.

And perhaps…

Perhaps Dakota couldn’t do enough.

“You’re just a mistake, Dakota.”, Barrier’s words reverberated like a cymbal crash, like a shock to the system that awakened a part of Dakota that he desperately wanted to get rid of: The doubt, the feeling that…

He could never help those he loves.

They would only ever be let down.

Again…

First ball misses.

And again…

Second ball hits one pin… By accident.

And again…

Dakota walked back to his table as Barrier made two strikes in quick succession, before announcing a break.

“Freshen up, all of you! I want to give you all time to wallow in your misery!”, she bragged maliciously.

“This is a Wiki Guy story, what else are we going to do?”, Cavendish asked, arms outstretched in question.

As Barrier nodded in agreement, Dakota sat down, and for the first time in more than a year, felt his hard earned optimism, his hard fought care crumble away.

He was no savior.

He was a destroyer.

A mistake waiting to happen.

And one day…

Milo…

Melissa…

Zack…

Amanda…

Sara…

Brick…

Savannah…

…

Cavendish…

They would be hurt.

He could only hurt those he loved.

He was nothing more than…

“A mistake… Waiting to happen…”, Dakota whispered, and he held his head in his hands, the emotions welling up as he felt his hope get sucked out by the universe’s straw.

There was only darkness.

And even Vinnie Dakota couldn’t fight the all encompassing feeling of…

Hopelessness.

As the brake started, Dakota took a moment to look up and see how the others were doing.

The answer: Not too hot.

“Who left the door open?”, Cavendish asked, outraged.

“My bad! Sorry!”, Osku Palermaa called out as he closed the door. “It’s just that the snow reminds me of home.”

Looking out through the window, Osku saw the snow shaped like his wife, posing. “Why don’t you throw your ball into me, dear?”

Osku shook his head. “Only when I come back, my love.”

As Cavendish blinked, confused, Mr. Block groaned. “This is going terribly! I’m losing, I’m being humiliated, and I’m also in terrible emotional pain!”

Block was silenced by a bowling ball to the head, causing him to faint. “Join the freakin’ club!”, Savannah complained.

She then hugged herself harder, hiding her head and mascara dripping face from the others.

“I… I need to go to the bathroom.”, Savannah lied, and she ran off, hiding her tears, her heels squeeking on the waxed floor.

Brick, meanwhile, let out a pained wail as he laid on the floor like a beached whale.

“I’m supposed to be number 1da! Me! Me! But I’m not! Fluttershy! Protect me!”, he begged, putting the pony plush over his back. Fluttershy gave the audience a tired side glance.

Dakota sighed. “This isn’t going well, huh Balthy?”

But Cavendish was sleeping on the bench, trying to cover his ears with cartoonishly large earmuffs. “Wake me up when it’s over.”

“When what is over? The game or your life?”, asked Brick, his voice muffled thanks to the floor.

“Whichever comes first.”, Cavendish replied, before resuming his nap.

Dakota sighed again. Nothing was better.

And it was his fault.

“I’ll…”, he started, but he knew that whatever he said wouldn’t help. “I’ll get some snacks. Does anyone want… Anything?”

“No complaints from me, as long as it’s cyanide laced.”, Cavendish ordered.

“Maybe some arsenic?”, Savannah requested loudly from the bathroom, a ton of crumpled paper towels covering her face and hands, which were bleeding from their scars again.

“I’d fancy some bleach.”, Brick said, before quickly stating “The household item, not the anime.”

“Same difference.”, Block remarked before returning to his faint state.

Dakota sighed. “On it.”

He got up and, hands in his pockets, started going off to nowhere in particular.

The snack bar was close to him, but Dakota couldn’t even bare to eat anything, he felt so bad.

All his friends felt like crap, and he had done nothing to help with that.

In fact, it seemed like he had made things worse.

He had not expected this bowling night to be so depressing.

But then again, neither did the readers, so at least they all shared that, huh?

“Great, now I’m going insane as well.”, Dakota thought as he continued to walk aimlessly around the lanes.

As he entered the only other in use, not noticing its occupant, Dakota couldn’t help but look out the window.

The snow was so peaceful, contrasting the mood inside.

Maybe it was a seasonal thing, but Dakota felt that somehow, the snow was warmer than this terrible place.

He clenched his hands hard, bruising them slightly.

He winced as he remembered Savannah’s scars. Was he falling down that road too?

Even worse, though…

Why did he feel like he deserved it?

As his palms radiated pain signals to his brain, Dakota opened his eyes and looked out again at the snow.

The white powder looked peaceful, but beyond it was a busy road, dozens of cars speeding down the road over there.

They were so fast, like a blur.

“Uh, so that’s why that game is called “Blur”.”, Dakota’s distracted mind went before resuming its melancholic monologue.

Back to the cars.

They sped down, slick and smooth, their echoes coming and going in seconds, never to be heard by Dakota again.

Dakota got up close to the window, practically sticking to it, as he looked at the cars.

At the road.

And at the possibility of an…

Exit.

One step…

One second…

And it would all end.

The pain, the disappointments, the let down faces, the hurt in their souls, the loved ones he couldn’t protect…

All gone in a moment’s notice, in better hands.

Since his would be 6 feet under.

But…

Surely not… 

He let out a small breath as he stared out there, imagining the collision, the feeling of cold hard metal turning his bones into sawdust, the sweet release of life…

One step…

And everyone would be better off, no?

Even he would.

Since he wouldn’t have to hurt anyone anymore.

Everybody wins.

But just when Dakota began to seriously consider the idea, just when Dakota truly felt that…

That he had no place in this world…

His phone dinged.

Looking down, he found a text message from “My Kids”, a group chat he had with Milo, Melissa, Zack, Sara and Amanda.

He opened the chat and gazed at the message, his sad eyes reading the text.

“Hey, Dadkota, we heard that you and Dadvendish were out bowling tonight. Good luck! You deserve a night off! Try and take it easy, ok? We all need you to be at your full energy!”, the text read, sent from Milo’s phone, but sent from Melissa, Zack and Sara as well (Dakota noted that Amanda hadn’t communicated in a while, and he promised himself to confront her about that soon).

He found a small wry smile as he put the phone down, and he felt a pang of pain in his heart.

Was he seriously going to be so selfish as to give up?

Was he seriously going to abandon his family because he felt a bit bad?

He sighed as he lightly banged his head on the window pane, his reflection shooting a disappointed and pained look back at him.

“I just…”, he started, before sighing again.

He lifted his head and tearfully confessed “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

He sat down, holding his knees as he stared back at himself.

“I want to help… I want to protect them… To be there for them… But… If it only makes things worse… Then what’s the point?”

His reflection seemed to answer back almost. “What about you?”

Dakota scoffed, a small chuckle emitting from his tear filled throat. “What about me? I’ll be fine. I’ll find a way to keep going. I always do. I have no problem being happy.”

He looked down, heartbroken. “It’s them.”

He shivered, continuing his self searching talk. “Savannah, Brick, Cavendish… They are important to me. I learned who they really are. How hurt and lost and sad they are. They don’t know how to…”

He sobbed.

“They… They don’t know how to be happy. How to love themselves. And I thought… I thought I could give them that. Because they deserve it.”

He hung his head in shame. “Turns out I couldn’t even do that. Now they’re all sad, they’re all worse off, and… And it’s all because of me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good enough friend.”

But just before Dakota could burst into tears, he heard an oddly emotional voice call out “That’s not true!”, before yipping and hiding behind a table.

Dakota, startled, unaware that he wasn’t alone, turned around to see a seemingly empty lane.

A lane where a bowling ball was slowly rolling towards some pins…

Knocking them down in a strike…

A strike that, according to the computer, was a 100th strike in a row. A new record.

Dakota, confused and curious, searched the lane for some sign of life, and soon his eyes locked on the shape of a young woman hiding behind one of the tables.

“Who’s there?”, Dakota asked, slowly approaching.

Realizing that he must have interrupted the person, he began to apologize. “Sorry about that, I was just having a… A bad moment. I didn’t know you were here. You know how it is.”, he joked, an embarrassed smile on his face. “One minute you’re bowling, the next you’re considering suicide since all your friends are totally depressed… And you don’t know what to do, since you’ll only make things worse.”

He sighed as he turned around, only for the hidden woman to stand up.

“That’s not what I heard.”

Dakota turned around, and his eyes widened as he recognized the person in front of him.

“…Gretchen?”

The cynical secretary waved shyly as she stepped forwards.

“…I…”

Dakota didn’t really know what to say.

“…I didn’t know that you could bowl.”

Gretchen snorted and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t bowl… I rule at it.”

Dakota, suddenly feeling a bit better, smiled. “Well, why don’t you show me how good you are?”

Gretchen leaned on the wall. “Get some snacks, and I’ll consider your offer.”

Dakota laughed heartily, for the first time in hours. “You don’t have to tell me twice!”

Munch munch!

Gretchen took a large bite out of the Ham, Egg and Green Chilly breakfast burrito, savoring its juicy, warm flavors.

She looked over at Dakota, also enjoying a breakfast burrito (the exact same kind), and nodded with a full mouth smile, the kind that is communicated better with the eyes than the mouth.

“Pretty damn good!”, she finally said after swallowing a particularly large piece of ham. “Pretty damn good indeed!”

Dakota chuckled as he wiped some crumbs off of his face, a little bit of chilly now dangling from his chin. “Yep! I’ve had a ton of burritos, but this is still my favorite!”

They nodded for a bit, focused on their meal, before Dakota resumed their conversation, his elbow resting his head and leaning on the no longer clean white table.

“So… Bowling? You? Good? How?”, he asked in quick succession before taking another humongus bite.

Gretchen wiped her moth with her sleeve and looked down a bit, not used to sharing… Well, anything.

“Oh, well, you know, a little bit of practice here and there and… Just lucky, I guess.”

Dakota eyed her suspiciously. “Yeah, I may not know you at all, but even I can tell that that’s bull.”, he remarked, taking a napkin and wiping off that piece of chilly from earlier.

Gretchen rolled her eyes, annoyed. “You’re really going to make me fess up, huh?”

Dakota leaned back on his chair, chewing on a gristly peace of ham. “As long as it takes. Barrier is taking her time with the break.”

(CUTAWAY: Barrier and her team practice the victory song they’re going to play after they win)

(“Louder! Louder! I want Block to FEEL it when you turn into toilet paper and paper his house!”)

Dakota blew a strand of hair out of his face and gazed back at Gretchen, who buried her face in her hands.

“So, come on! Fess up, tell the truth, take that cat out of the bag before it suffocates, spill the beans, but not literally, they cost me way more than I thought.”

Gretchen ever so slightly looked up from her hands, her eyes narrow and miffed.

“You know, for someone who sympathtizes with, like, everyone, should kind of understand when someone who’s never had to share anything is a little cautious.”

Dakota looked down now, a little ashamed. He should have considered that, instead of jumping straight to the point.

“Once again, I make things worse instead of better. Some hero.”, he thought, disappointed at his failings.

He just wanted to help, why did it seem to have no effect?

“Well”, he thought, brightening up a little, “Maybe this could be a step in the right direction. Maybe I can make Gretchen feel a bit better.”

He sat straight now, in order to show Gretchen that he was serious about this, and he locked his eyes with her, staring intently.

Gretchen blushed, not used to such close proximity to anyone.

Especially with such a hunk.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’m not messing around, though. I really want to know, but do it in your own time. I may be a joker, but when it comes to helping people, I’m no clown, ok?”

Gretchen could tell that his tone was genuine, and she slowly raised her head, meeting his gaze.

Her half finished burrito sat in her hands as she slowly took a deep breath.

Maybe…

Maybe this could help.

Yeah right.

But still…

Maybe it’s worth a shot.

“…Well, it all started 25 years, 1 month and 10 days ago…”

A giant title card, made of bowling pins, informing us that is was indeed 25 years, 1 month and 10 days ago appears only to be knocked down by a bowling ball in the exact same alley.

A sticker on the alley’s window pane, stating that it is September 12th, 2151, is ripped off by an alley worker named Steve, revealing the small and peering reflection of a girl.

This 10 year old girl with mousy hair and large, coke bottle Velma from “A Pup Named Scooby Doo” and Dendy from “OK KO, Let’s Be Heroes” glasses stares intently into the alley, a mixture of curiosity and longing in her large wondrous pupils.

She wears a school uniform made of what looks a lot like Milo’s regular outfit, red and dull yellows mixed with stripes, but in dress form, a bit like Lola Sundeguard.

Her small frame and small smile are precious to the eye, and one can’t help but coo at her sight.

Well, sadly, most can, but those with a heart can see that she is a good little girl, with a heart as pure as her love for this strange new sport she had just discovered.

It seemed so… Inticing, even more than the admittedly engaging field trip she was on.

Maybe if she could sneak in, if but for a moment…

“Gretchen Galindo! Gretchen, where are you?”, a tall woman with rocket ship earrings and eye covering bangs called out, her polka dot dress dangerously out of style, her arms searching for a too curious for her own good little scamp.

Gretchen turned around, and, recognizing the fashion disaster, sighed, a small pang of disappointment hitting her.

She really wanted to find out more about that place.

“Still”, she reasoned, as she hurridly rejoined the group, “It’s not like this trip isn’t interesting.”

Her tiny sneakers smacked down the pavement as she approached the group of 5th Graders waiting in line at the middle of Underwood Avenue, awaiting entry into Murphy street.

“Kids, where the hell is Gretchen Galindo?”, the teacher asked, looking at a row of uninterested faces.

She quickly sandwiched herself between Nelson Nakamura, the smallest boy in class, right now picking his nose, and Leo McGurck, the biggest boy in the class, already working on his lower abs.

“What did I miss?”, she whispered into Nelson’s ear, and the bored boy slowly turned his head back.

“Nothing. Same old stuff. “The Weirdo Squad did this”, and “Elliot Decker is a hero” that.”

He resumed his gold digging, earning a grossed out face from Gretchen. “Boring heroes from the 2000’s.”

Gretchen held her hands together and shyly rocked from side to side, a small smile on her face. “I don’t think they’re boring.”

She looked up at the golden statue of Professor Time, his weird face smiling pleasantly at the people of Danville. “I think they’re really cool! I wish I could save people JUST like them!”

“Nerd!”, Leo coughed, and the other kids laughed, making Gretchen pout.

But as she clutched her tiny booklet in her pocket, she felt a beam of hope. “Maybe learning about them will help me be like them.”

After a few minutes of walking through the clean, pollutionless city, the class finally arrived at its destination: The Bureau of Time Travel. B.O.T.T for short.

And in Gretchen’s mind, the COOLEST place on earth!

Marble floors, white walls, and a sky blue ceiling: It looked like hope.

“It felt like hope”, she thought, as she touched the soothing carpeting, it almost feeling like the home she never had.

“It smells like hope!”, Gretchen thought hungrily as her nose caught the alluring scent of a breakfast burrito.

She walked up to the smell, her nose wrinkling and twitching for the tasty snack, and she found herself colliding into a very flustered 20 year old woman, dark skinned, wearing a grey dress and high heels.

“Oh, sorry, little girl. I… Didn’t see you there.”, the woman answered, picking Gretchen up.

“I should have seen her there…”, she thought, cursing herself for her imperfections.

“A proper woman sees and knows all, but stays silent.”, her mother reminded in the back of her head, and the woman nodded, sadly.

“Well, I must be off to…”

Suddenly, a 20 year old Janitor stepped in and grabbed his burrito.

He wore a green janiters outfit, but he also wore a warm and welcoming smile, the kind Gretchen had never seen before.

It almost made her feel…

What was the word?

Safe.

The Janitor noticed the woman and tipped his hat. “Hey, I know you! You came here… Last year, no?”

“And the year before that.”, The Woman informed, a hint of disappointment and resentment in her voice.

“Ah, I wasn’t here two years ago. I was… Well, I was sort of nowhere at the time.”

The two adults stayed staring at each other, no words exchanged.

“I must be going, now. Good day.”

But before she could leave, the Janitor wished her luck. “Good luck, stranger! I saw your application once, when I was snooping around for some lunch at the offices.”

The woman turned, unsure how to react.

The Janitor smiled that pleasant smile of his, almost like he was trying to say to her to persevere. “With wishes like that… You will definitely make it here. Why, I’m sure you could make it all the way to the top! So… If they say no again, just come again. Can’t say no forever, right?”

It was genuine, and the Woman was unused to such… Kindness.

“…Thank you. I will do my best.”

The Janitor nodded. “I’m sure you will.”

The Woman left, hurridly now, and The Janitor resumed his lunch, only to notice the curious and hungry girl next to him.

Smiling again, a warm look on his face, he knelt down.

“Hey there, little one. What’s up?”

Gretchen gazed at the man with wonder.

“You made that tall woman there feel better.”

The Janitor nodded, confused. “Uh, yeah. So?”

She looked at him with large eyes, questioning. “…Do you think you could do that for me?”

The Janitor wasn’t used to… Expectations. That was just him being nice before.

He was always nice.

But this was something else.

This was a little girl, bluntly asking him for emotional support.

But he was just a washout who was cleaning up the building.

“I… I’m just the Janitor, kid. I’m no… Roll model or something. Maybe… Maybe I can give you, like, a funny pencil? I may have one here…”, he said, desperately looking for one in the mug on the desk next to him.

But as he turned around, Gretchen seemed lost.

Could he really not do the simple act of… Helping her?

Was he really so useless?

He may not have had a connection to this girl, and he may not know her at all, but Dakota knew loneliness and self resentment when it was right in front of him.

So, he instead took his burrito and gave it to her, grinning.

“Look, kid, I don’t know who you are… But I can tell you one thing: As long as you believe, as long as you try to do what’s right… It will work out… In the end.”

“I want to be a hero, like… Like that one over there!”, she said, pointing at the statue of Jim.

The Janitor smiled and nodded. “Then… Then go and do that. Never give up. Ok?”

She nodded, and happily took off with the burrito.

The Janitor smiled to himself, and sighed.

He wondered if he could ever have kids.

She seemed cute enough.

And it made his heart all fuzzy and warm just doing that.

He then looked up at the statues of great heroes, and thought, ever so slightly: “Maybe one day, I could be a hero too.”

And having thought that, he resumed his work, whistling a merry tune as he swept, only stopping to tip his hat at the new intern from England, who always wore that nice green hat.

Gretchen, meanwhile, ran back to her group, a full tummy and a positively giddy face as she arrived, now sure of her future as a hero.

She returned just in time to hear the teacher finish up a mini-lecture on another legendary hero: Elliot Decker.

“The sacrifices he made were so great, and his teachings so pure, that Elliot Decker’s legacy was forever kept alive thanks to the Decker Foundation, that funds many peacekeeping programs like B.O.T.T.”

Gretchen lifted her hand, causing the rest of the kids to groan.

“Of course. What do you want, Gretchen?”, the teacher asked, frustrated at the inquisitive girl.

Gretchen cleared her throat and loudly asked “At what age can you sign up for the B.O.T.T academy?”

She stood almost at the tippy top of her toes, almost hoping that if she stood tall enough, she could reach the sky she so wanted to fly through, to be as tall as the colossal statues among her.

To be as great as them.

To be as…

Loved as them.

The teacher, however, failed to recognize Gretchen’s wish, and instead, scolded her.

“Gretchen, such questions do not contribute to our history lesson!”, she said, with a disapproving look, shaming the girl. “Not to mention that you could never make it, if we are to believe your parents… Or your discipline…”

Gretchen, who was busy dropping fake puke onto someone’s hair, suddenly turned around to face the teacher. “Why do you believe them? They don’t… Love me…”, she whispered, mostly to herself, covering the small but purple bruise on her forearm.

It still hurt from last night.

It still burned.

But the Teacher ignored her plea, resuming her discussion. “Gretchen, put aside such inane delusions. You are a misbehaving little runt, and you will pay attention in class.”

She turned around. ”Now, let us return to our discussion of these heroes who believed that anyone could be a hero…”

Gretchen looked down in sadness, her mood now very blue.

Her tiny hands in her pockets, she slinked off into a corner, her mind a storm of emotions.

“It’s no fair! Just because Dad is the school president doesn’t mean he can do no wrong!”, she said, wincing again as her bruise acted up.

She rubbed it, trying to somehow sooth the pain, as she walked off to the corner, hoping to disappear and never be found again.

No…

She had to be found again…

“Stupid teacher… I CAN be a hero…”

She stopped for a moment, hugging herself. “Maybe… Right? Maybe I can be a hero?...”

She bit her lip.

“…Right?”

A chill passed through her heart, and she felt a swirling nothingness pass through her, a nothingness that whispered to her that she is a nobody.

But that couldn’t be, right?

No, it couldn’t be!

She had to be…

More…

She also deserved friends!

And happiness!

And love!

She could also give that to others, right?

Her dad was wrong about her being a waste of space…

Right?

She got so distracted, so utterly worried about her existence, that she bumped into one of the statues.

“Owie…”, she said, rubbing her head from the sudden collision, only to look up and see…

The statue of Jim…

One of the greatest heroes of all!

She gasped silently, stars in her eyes as she admired the behemoth.

Jim’s statue looked down at her, but it felt almost like an encouraging glance, rather than a disapproving one.

“If I could be like him…”, Gretchen thought, her little heart wishing in all its might, her eyes shut tight, as if she was wishing on a star.

When she finally opened her eyes, Gretchen then saw something she hadn’t seen before: An inscription.

A plaque, to be specific.

Eyes widened now, she squinted to read the message engraved on it.

Failing to catch it, she stood on her tippy toes, and finally, was able to see the message.

“To all who may read this, never forget… A hero can be anyone… And as long as you never give up… As long as you believe in yourself… You too… Can be a hero.”

To Gretchen, this was like a promise from the heavens, and coupled with that kind Janitor’s assertions, Gretchen felt like she was somehow a few steps closer to realizing her dream.

Now…

If she only had a friend…

“Hey! Stop it!”

In an instant, Gretchen turned her head, and what she saw enraged her: Little Timmy Wipple, the neighborhood punching bag from 4th Grade was being harassed by Leo McGurk and his partner in crime Sheila Kean.

They were giving him an atomic wedgie, one that seemed to border on violation of the Geneva convention, as Gretchen had never seen elastic bend like THIS.

It was as grotesque as it was disheartnening, but Gretchen, with her newfound confidence was not going to allow it!

Even though those two were like skyscrapers next to her, Gretchen refused to budge.

It was time to prove that kind Janitor and giant golden statue of an overweight average dude that they were right: She COULD be a hero!

Hyping herself, she pumped her fists, straightened her glasses, hopped on her tiny feet, took a deep breath, and quickly ran to the scene, her heart beating faster than ever, even when dad would come home drunk.

“Come on, Wipple, give us your lunch money!”

“We don’t go to the same school! Don’t you have some losers at your place you can terrorize?”, Wipple asked, outraged.

“Nah, they’re no fun. Flynn Fletcher Elementary is just a bunch of dweebs now. You, on the other hand, are loaded!”

“I refuse! Find some other ruffian to shake!”, Timmy said, sticking his tongue out.

“Fine.”, Sheila growled, and she lifted her fist, causing Timmy to cower in fright…

Only for Gretchen to jump in front of him, hands on her hips, chest puffed up, eyes narrow, body straight.

An aura almost seemed to eminate from her as she raised her palm in the stopping motion.

“Leave him alone!”, Gretchen demanded, her voice sounding unfitting with the statement, but her bravery still commendable.

Unfortunately, Sheila and Leo did not share that sentiment.

Without a word, they just shoved Gretchen aside and snatched Timmy’s money, running off chortling.

Gretchen got up, dusting herself off. Well…

That could have gone better.

She couldn’t believe it…

She had done everything right, no?

She had stood up to those meanies, she had been brave and selfless, and yet she had lost.

But…

That didn’t make sense!

They said that you just have to do the right thing, and it would work!

Where were the results?!

Timmy suddenly came up to Gretchen and shoved her too.

“Some hero you are! You failed miserably!”

Gretchen got outraged, and she fumed red. “Hey! I tried to help you!”

“And what a great job you did!”, he said, sticking his tongue out.

Gretchen clenched her fists. “It’s not fair! I was the only one who even tried to help, and you treat me like this?!”

Suddenly, the entire class surrounded her, and began to laugh and point.

“Lookit that! Gretchen here thinks she can be like Jim! Or Elliot Decker!”, one kid laughed, tears coming out of his eyes.

“Hey, Gretchen, you joining B.O.T.T tomorrow? Could you travel back in time to stop your birth?”, another kid jeered.

“Gretchen! Save me! I’m dying of embarrassment of sharing air with you!”, yet another kid said.

Gretchen was shaking with rage now, her ears red and her eyes stinging with tears.

Her fists were so clenched, her knuckles seemed to be turning white.

Everyone was treating her like trash, and for no reason!

“Oh, look, she’s angry! What are you going to do, cry to your daddy? With luck, he might finally get rid of you, you waste of…”, Timmy said, looking down on her.

That’s. It.

Gretchen looked up with mad rage, and with one swift motion, she knocked Timmy out, a tooth flying out of his face.

He flew down onto the floor, blood spraying out of his mouth and onto the floor, his face now contorted in pain.

Gretchen gasped and shivered. Sure, she was angry, but she hadn’t intended to hurt him!

“Are… Are you ok? I didn’t mean…”, she started, her voice now very quiet and small, her hand slowly reaching over to Timmy when suddenly…

“GRETCHEN GALINDO!”

Gretchen yiped and froze as the Teacher walked in. “I knew it! I knew this would happen! Oy vey, how much longer must I deal with this troublesome brat?”

“I… I didn’t mean… It was an accident… I was just trying to help…”, but Gretchen’s pleas were met with silence from the maddening crowd, their eyes burning holes of disapproval into her skull, their judging stares stabbing her soul.

She breathed heavily as she heard bits and pieces of conversation, her vision getting blurry, her breathing erratic, her mind panicking.

“Look at her…”

“What a freak!”

“I told you she was a bad girl…”

“Wants to be a hero, but she just punches that poor kid!”

“I’ve never known someone so boring and annoying!”

“Her Dad should beat her up more, she might learn a lesson or two…”

All the commotion attracted the attention of The Janitor, who was busy listening to “I’m Lindanna and I Wanna Have Fun” on his MP777.

He lifted his ear plugs and, confusion in his eyes, walked up to the Teacher.

“Hey, what’s going on?”, he asked, and he was quickly joined by a tall, frightening looking silver haired woman and a less frightening but still imposing black haired man in his early 40’s.

“Move aside, you! This is for the REAL B.O.T.T employees.”, The woman said, shooing the Janitor away.

The Janitor shrugged, a small sigh parting from his lips, and he staggered off back to his cleaning.

What none of them noticed was the blur that ran down the halls of the main offices and out the door, tears running down her face, her lip trembling.

“Faster… Faster…”, she told herself, her sneakers smacking on the pavement as she ran and ran, not noticing where she was going, narrowly avoiding a scooter.

“Hey! Watch out, kid!”, the man with the jet black sleek hair called out from his scooter, his tux slightly wrinkled now.

“Faster… Faster!”, she told herself, hoping that the earth could swallow her, hoping that she could find a place on earth where she could hide forever, a place where no one will judge her, a…

“…A safe place…”, Present Gretchen said as she lifted a bowling ball and approached the lane.

Gretchen was running so quickly that she didn’t notice she was in the alley that had piqued her curiosity before, but she had no time to appreciate this, she had to hide!

Hide from her mean teacher and class…

Hide from her terrifying father…

Hide from…

Everyone.

Gretchen hated her newfound “cowardice”, but she started to feel like the whole world was out to get her.

She stopped to take a breath, and she rubbed her face with her knuckles, feeling the wetness of her cheeks, and she sighed.

Maybe…

Maybe she couldn’t be like those great heroes she so admired.

Maybe…

Maybe she really was a nobody.

At first, Gretchen hated the idea…

But a new, strange thought came up…

On the one hand, she didn’t want to be alone…

But maybe if she was…

If she was a nobody who didn’t do anything, who didn’t care, who didn’t try to be friends with anyone…

She would be…

Safe.

“Everything that went wrong today happened because I tried to be a hero, and because I tried to be nice!”, she reasoned, sitting down on the cold floor, holding herself.

She sniffled.

“Maybe if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been shouted at… Or…”

She looked at her bruise.

“…Hurt…”

She looked up, tears running down her nose as she hiccupped.

“Maybe… Maybe if I turn invisible… I’ll be safe…”

Gretchen looked around her.

There was no one here.

There was only a lane…

10 pins…

A ball dispenser…

And a screen…

Gretchen got up, and slowly walked up to the lane.

It still looked magical, even with her depressed mood.

She saw the ball.

It looked so big…

But at the same time…

Oddly… Liftable.

She picked it up, struggling at first…

But slowly, slowly…

She began to roll it.

She slipped and fell at one point, scratching her knee, but she refused to stand down.

She got up, lifted her sleeves, and defiantly marched up to the ball.

An instructional guide on the wall stated that she had to roll it at the pins.

So, with much effort, she did.

The effort made her fall on her behind, but she didn’t mind, instead choosing to clench her fists and wish with all her heart that it would work.

And, in her first ever try…

IT DID!

“STRIKE! STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE!”, the automated computer voice rang out, but for Gretchen, the artificial congratulations was warmer than any declaration of love she had ever ”received” in her life.

She cheered, doing a little victory dance, before remembering…

Not to be noticed.

She awkwardly looked from side to side, but thankfully…

She was alone.

“No one can hurt me… I am invisible…”, she thought, and with a soft smile, she reached for another ball…

“And that’s how it was. For the next 25 years, I had one place where I could be me.”

The ball is lifted, but by a 13 year old Gretchen, now slightly taller (though still relatively short), now wearing a costume akin to her regular outfit. Her glasses are now her current ones, small framed and narrow lensed, and her earrings are present, but they are faded.

As she throws the ball, she gets another strike and, sitting down, she lifts her book, “Goon Show Scripts”, and she has a lonely, silent laugh.

She is utterly alone in the alley.

Her bruise is now a scar.

Present Gretchen slowly walks up to the lane with her own ball.

“Strike! Strike, strike, strike!”, calls the announcer, and 16 year old Gretchen smiles warmly, happy to hear the voice.

“Hey, Janitor. Guess what?”, she tells the automated voice, awaiting an answer.

She imitates that gravelly voice. “Uh, I don’t know. What’s up, Gretch? You not having a “ball”?”, Gretchen joked, holding up a bowling ball and juggling it expertly.

“Who, me? No, I’m fine, Janitor! Why wouldn’t I be?”

As she sat down at the table, she put the bowling ball by her side, and looked down at the surface of the table.

A chocolate mousse cake, a gift wrapped Robin Williams Stand Up VCR tape, and a card signed by one person, herself, stood proudly on the table.

“Happy Birthday” by The Arrogant Worms played on low volume from her scratched up phone.

She sighed.

“It’s my birthday… And every girl is happy on her Sweet 16.”

She blew the solitary candle she had put, and she blew a party horn with one, sad, single note.

She looked up at the computer as she stood up.

“Don’t worry, Gretch… It’s like you said: Being invisible keeps you safe. And you’ll always have me.”

Gretchen nodded. “Yeah… Yeah, I guess I do.”

She walked up and rolled another ball…

“Once a day… Every milestone… Every event…”

“So… I’m going to join… B.O.T.T.”, 20 year old Gretchen could hardly squeeze out, as she threw another ball.

Gretchen was still about the same size as when she was 16, but she now had an even more glazed and cynical look in her eyes, coupled with a new feeling…

Disappointment.

Gretchen then turned around and looked at the screen.

“Why, what’s wrong, Gretch? It’s your dream to be in B.O.T.T. Why… Are you sad?”, Gretchen tried to imitate the voice, but she was breaking.

“Oh, it’s ok, Janitor. Really… It’s just…”

She walked up to the window pane, and she saw her reflection.

“It’s just…”

She saw the tag.

Secretary.

Not hero.

Not time traveller.

Not even helper.

“Just… Why… Why…”

She began to burst into tears as she looked at herself…

And felt nothing but…

Disappointment.

Gretchen’s ball began to roll…

“Again…”

“Strike! Strike, strike, strike, strike!”

25 year old Gretchen, a sour, bored, disinterested expression on her face, rolled another ball.

She had a Christmas hat on. 

“And again…”

30 year old Gretchen rolled the ball as it rained…

“And again…”

35 year old Gretchen rolled the ball as she sat down, looking down at the floor, refusing to budge.

“Strike! Strike, strike, strike, strike!”

Gretchen watched as she nailed it yet again.

“And again. For the rest of my life. Until now.”

She turned to Dakota, who seemed very… Still.

Solemn, almost.

She grabbed hold of her hand, feeling small next to him.

“So, yeah… That’s my life. That’s how I’m good at bowling… And apparently, that’s why I’m such a jerk. That’s why I have no friends.”

She sat down, and resumed eating her now cold burrito.

Dakota, who hadn’t taken a bite of his the entire time, moved his hand to wipe a tear out.

“I’m… Gretchen, I’m…”

“I know you are. It’s ok. I chose this.”

She hugged her knees.

“It’s nice though… Being able to tell you this…”

She looked at him with a small smile. “Thank you for listening.”

Dakota wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what.

So they sat there, silently, saying nothing but feeling everything.

Dakota thought and thought as he sat, his legs falling asleep but his brain wide awake.

Gretchen…

What a terrible life she had led…

And he had no idea.

How could all those people have done that to her!

How could they have bullied a clearly well meaning, sweet and innocent girl!

Was the world truly so bad?

If only he could do something…

Dakota sighed.

“I guess… I guess your story proves that I’m wrong…”

He closed his eyes in mourning.

“There really is no point… You can’t really help people… You’ll only get hurt…”

“From the hope.”, Gretchen finished, and they looked at each other in sad agreement.

Dakota shook his head, tears beginning to build up in his eyes.

“I was sure… I was sure I could help… I was sure it meant something… Surely… Surely that’s not true.”

He clenched his fists. “There has to be hope! There has to be!”

He began to shake. “I tried so hard… I love these people… Can I really not help them be happy? Can I not help anyone?”

Gretchen sighed and shook her head. “Life’s just… Unfair, Dakota. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it.”

Dakota turned to her, frustrated. “What are you talking about? Look at me!”

He stared at her intently, soul crying out for help.

“Cavendish… Cavendish was always so sad… Feeling like he needs to live up to some great ideal… I was able to make him loosen up… Laugh a little… But… Maybe he can’t think about others… Because I wasn’t good enough to make him see the error of his ways.”

He continued, looking into the distance.

“Savannah… Well, I can’t tell you the details, but she’s… She’s afraid of herself. And… And I tried to help her be herself. But… But look at her! She’s still terrified. Some help!”

A tear ran down his cheek, as he felt the weight of his failures.

“Brick was a lonely guy, desperate for friends… And when we were stuck in the elevator, I offered him that. And, well… He’s still the same.”

Dakota sighed.

“I thought I could help them… I thought I could do something… Something good… Because they deserved it.”

Dakota slumped, his shoulders drooped.

“…But I only made things worse. I guess you’re right… There really is no point. I can…”

He sobbed.

“I can only hurt the ones I love.”

Gretchen and Dakota sat in silence, Dakota’s sobs the only thing breaking it.

Gretchen tentatively put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Dakota. I know… I know that you meant well. That must count for something.”

Dakota removed the hands from his face, and he nodded, sniffling. “I guess… I guess it does.”

Dakota wiped his nose. “I mean… I did try. At least… I tried.”

Dakota then thought back to those days with Brick, with Savannah, with Cavendish…

“…Maybe not hard enough.”

He then thought of the stuck elevator and he remembered something.

And even if it was a small comfort, Dakota’s soul latched on it, feeding off from the hope it instilled.

“You know… Maybe the world isn’t that great… But it ain’t half bad too.”

He smiled fondly.

Gretchen, on the other hand, was bewildered.

“What do you mean?”, she asked, looking at him.

He turned back to her with a fond smile. “Oh, it’s just… When Brick and I were stuck in the elevator, we were only saved by some person who reported the incident many hours after it happened. If it wasn’t for them… Well, who knows?”

Gretchen seemed suddenly very interested in the ceiling and in wiping her glasses clean with her outfit.

Dakota smiled again, feeling a little better. “You know, I wouldn’t have even been there if it wasn’t for another kind gesture.”

“Oh, really?”, Gretchen asked, voice a little too high.

Dakota nodded. “Yep. Some nice person helped me get to Donut Day that day. I still don’t know who that was. Still… If they hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have been able to eat all those donuts… OR help Brick…”

He then looked down again, disheartened. “Or well, TRY to help Brick.”

Though, as he reflected, he couldn’t help but feel…

“You know, though… I did help a bit. Brick is more open, and Savannah is a bit more open… And heck… Until a month ago, Cavendish was more open.”

Dakota chuckled.

“Not to mention I’ve got 5 kids who feel proud to call me their dad.”

Dakota got thoughtful, his heart swelling again.

“Maybe it didn’t work… But it did something. I guess… I guess it wasn’t all for nothing.”

He smiled. “And all thanks to that one random person! I wish I could thank them somehow… They helped, in their own way. And it made me feel good, to be able to go to Donut Day.”

Gretchen coughed, and clasped her hands together. “Well… I’m sure that whoever gave you that time vehicle and note are happy to have helped…”

Dakota nodded slowly, before catching on to something.

His face froze in understanding, and he slowly turned to a crimson red Gretchen.

He opened his mouth, but words took a moment to form.

“…Gretchen…”

“Yes… Dakota?”, Gretchen asked, hoping to disappear.

“…I never said anything about a note… Or a Time Vehicle…”

Dakota put two and two together.

“…Gretchen? That was you?”, he asked, a small smile forming.

Gretchen, annoyed, burst out at him. “Ok, ok! Fine! It was me! I did it! Ya happy?”, she shouted and turned away.

She then muttered “And I also saved you from the elevator.”

Dakota didn’t know how to digest this. “…I… I don’t get it. You said that you didn’t care. You said that you stopped trying. Why… Why did you help me?”

Gretchen crossed her arms. “Well, I’m not heartless! I… They always said such… Nice things about you…”

She got really flustered now. “And besides…”

She bit her bottom lip. “…You were always… Nice to me.”

Dakota blinked in confusion. “…When?”

Gretchen turned to him, shocked. “Ah, what do you mean? You greeted me every day, you said goodbye every day, you knew my name today, and you always left little cards and messages and leftover donuts and stuff!”

Dakota shrugged humorously, a simple grin on his face. “So? Sounds pretty obvious to me!”

Gretchen, with a very serious look, stared at him. “…Not to me.”, she whispered, a tear threatening to come down.

She then turned away, shy now.

Dakota reached a hand.

“Gretchen… To be serious now…”

He frowned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know any of this.”

Gretchen silently laughed. “You couldn’t have. And yet you blame yourself for not helping. You’re too good for this world. If only there were more people like you…”

Dakota turned her to him. “Well, there’s you.”

Gretchen scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

“No really.”, he said.

He pointed at himself. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation without you. I wouldn’t have helped Brick, or Savannah without you. Does that mean nothing?”

Gretchen looked away.

Dakota pressed on. “Besides, what about that Janitor guy? You said that he helped you!”

Gretchen now blushed even redder and she hid her face in her hands. “Ok, yes, him as well! But it’s not like I’ll ever see him again! He’s just one guy!”

“You know, we could probably find him in the records! I mean, how hard would it be to find the janitor from 25 years ago?”

Despite herself, Gretchen was intrigued by the idea.

Dakota then scratched his chin, looking at the bowling score screen. “Come to think of it, I should know him. I joined B.O.T.T 25 years ago.”

“Really?”, Gretchen asked, curious.

Dakota confirmed this with a nod. “Yeah, really, I was a…”

The penny dropped, and Dakota realized something.

“…Janitor…”

Suddenly, it all came back to him: The little girl with the big heart and hopeful eyes…

The little girl from 25 years ago with a school uniform and a hunger for his burrito…

The little girl who asked him…

If she could ever be someone…

That was…

Gretchen suddenly realized too…

And she got super embarrassed, hiding her face.

“…Gretchen, I…”

“All this time…”, she started, failing to believe the words that were coming out of her mouth, sinking harder and harder into herself. “You were the one person… Who believed in me?”

Dakota shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t remember. I’m sorry…”

Gretchen stood up, pulling at her own hair. “You? It was you? I named the bowling score screen after you?”

Dakota bit his bottom lip as he remembered that part of the story.

Gretchen was breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating, but before Dakota could help her, she turned to him violently, her eyes darkened, closed now, and her hands could barely restrain her.

“…Why?”

Dakota looked side to side, confused. “…Why what?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you’re smarter than this!”, she shouted, angry and hurt before turning her back.

Her voice now got smaller, sadder… Lonelier. “…Why… Why did you tell me that? Back then, why did you tell me that?”

Dakota stood up now, and he slowly approached her, tentatively laying comforting hands on her shoulders, which she stiffened to at first, before relaxing.

“…I did it because I saw the hope in your eyes… And I could see that you were a good girl… Sometimes… We need affirmation… So I gave it to you.”

Gretchen began to cry as the two men she had idolized turned out to be one misguided person.

‘Cause how could anyone ever believe in her?

“…And you know what?”

“Go ahead, say it.”, Gretchen thought, mentally preparing herself, bracing herself for the justified disappointment. “Say that I let you down. I didn’t live up to your belief…”

“You are the person I’d thought you’d be.”

Gretchen’s heart stopped, her face puzzled and bewildered as she turned to a smiling, warm Dakota.

“…How?”

Dakota chuckled, eyes closed. “Sure, there are some things that could be ironed out. But no one is perfect. And you… Are better than you think you are.”

He sat down, still smiling as he gazed upon the very confused woman in front of him. “Because if you didn’t care… You wouldn’t have helped me and Brick. You wouldn’t have let me go to Donut Day. Wether you like it or not… There is a part of you… That cares.”

Gretchen didn’t see it like that.

But as Dakota kept looking at it, a smile of realization and a bright new hope seemed to stir up in his heart.

“So… Maybe… I am right!”

“Right?”, Gretchen asked, still lost in her own thoughts.

“Sure, it took you some time… But you did improve.”

“How?”, she asked, disbelief traced in her words.

Dakota smiled. “Well, you clearly care about me. Even a bit. It took 25 years… But… You’re better than you used to be.”

Gretchen continued to hug herself.

Dakota stood up, excited.

“So maybe… If I persevere… Because I KNOW that they are good inside… Maybe if I do that, if I keep believing in them, if I don’t give up… They’ll be happy again!”

“It’s a maybe. It’s not a yes.”

“But it’s not a no.”, Dakota said, assuredly. “I don’t want to give up. I need to help them, Gretchen, ‘cause no one else can, but I also WANT to help them.”

“Why?”, she asked, still disagreeing.

Dakota looked at the horizion, determined now.

“Because… Because they’re my friends. And… Because it’s the right thing to do. And I want to do the right thing.”

“Why, Dakota? Why?”, she asked, almost pleading that he wouldn’t hurt himself.

“Why not?”, was the simple reply, as Dakota’s heart felt warm again, as the loving embers of hope caressed his soul.

“You’ll get hurt. They’ll let you down.”

Dakota wasn’t sure what to say at first… And then…

“Well… I guess I’ll just have to be hurt for a while. You have to take the risk, even if you get hurt.”

He looked at her, trying to convince her.

“There’s a chance if I try. But there is no chance if I don’t try. That’s just how it is.”

Dakota started to leave.

“And… And I want to help them. I don’t care what happens to me. They need me. And friends help friends.”

Dakota smiled to himself.

“I… Help others. It’s just what I do. It’s just what I want to do.”

He then turned to her. “You know… A very special friend of mine says that… Life has a strange way of working out in the end…”

He smiled at the thought of his special friend. “You just gotta keep trying. No matter how hard it is… You have to keep trying. Someone has to help. Because it’s the right thing to do.”

Dakota began to walk away, when he turned to her one last time. “You know… Maybe if you help us win… You won’t be so lonely. Winning could help Savannah’s self esteem against Barrier… It could help Brick learn to work with others… Could make Cavendish happy… And it just might just earn you a friend or two. Come on. You deserve it.”

Gretchen, now sitting on the florr, hugging her knees, scoffed. “Who would ever want to be my friend?”

Dakota smiled softly. “…I would.”

And he then left, his body illuminated by the bowling alley light.

He took a deep breath and smiled. 

Even when it was hard…

The right thing to do…

Felt right in his heart.

His heart would be his guiding key…

He would help his friends…

No matter what.

And as Dakota walked up to his lane, Gretchen looked after him, clutching the booklet she had kept in her pocket for 25 years…

“How To Be A Hero”.

She looked at him, and then at herself in the alley window pane.

10 Year Old Gretchen appeared.

Gretchen slowly and softly laid her head on the reflection’s head and sighed.

“Is it really… Possible?…”

“Could I really be…”

She shed a tear.

“…Good?”

“Finally! That brake felt like it was a 100 pages!”, Barrier complained as Dakota entered.

“It was.”, Larson affirmed before getting slapped.

“Don’t talk! Just fight!”

“Understood.”, Larson said, rubbing his hurting cheek.

The rest of Block’s “Team”, still hurting from the first half, looked at Dakota with puzzled expressions.

“Where were you, Dakota?”, Savannah asked, a questioning look on her face.

Dakota took a deep breath. “Somewhere bad… But I’m back. To take the leap of faith.”

He smiled and walked up to the lane.

“…What?”, Savannah asked, confused.

Brick and Cavendish shrugged, while Block continued to hide in Cavendish’s moustache.

“Oh, Dakota, do you really think you can win this?”, Barrier asked mockingly as Dakota picked up a bowling ball.

He looked at her, and then at his friends…

And determinedly, he looked back at her and said “Yes. Yes I do.”

The others looked a little surprised at this newfound confidence, as Dakota slowly readied his throwing arm.

“Whatever… You’re still going to fail, as always.”

Dakota stopped, closed his eyes and breathed through his nose.

“Maybe… But it will be for a good cause.”

He looked at her now with a serious stare. “And I will always fight for my friends… Regardless of the odds. I may be an accident waiting to happen… But that won’t stop me from doing what’s right.”

He breathed out through his nose. “And you will never… Kill my hope. Never.”

Dakota looked back at the pins.

He could do this…

Right?

Savannah, Brick, Cavendish and Block, surprised by the speech, now crossed their fingers that Dakota could pull this off.

“They’re all counting on me…”, he thought.

He closed his eyes, ready to take the leap.

“I won’t let them down.”, he said, almost to himself.

“No…”

Startled by the sudden sound, Dakota turned, and saw…

“You won’t.”

Gretchen, decked up in a bowling outfit, shoes shined and squeaking, new uniforms in her hands, and a very odd feature…

A hopeful smile on her face…

Walked up to Dakota.

“No way…”, Brick said, surprised.

“She’s actually…”, Savannah started.

“I thought that she…”, Cavendish exclaimed.

“Who’d have thunk?”, Block asked, bewildered, peaking from Cavendish’s beard.

Even Barrier was surprised to see the cynical worker.

Everyone was surprised, except for…

“…Hey.”, Dakota greeted.

Gretchen, blushing, looked a little at the floor.

“…Hey.”

She shuffled at her feet.

“I don’t think it will help them…”

She looked up, a determined smile.

“But if I can bowl for you… And reinforce your belief… Make you happy…”

She sighed. “And maybe… Make me happy…”

She looked up again. “Then I’ll do it. I want to do the right thing.”

Dakota, a proud smile on his face, reached out his hand.

“We’ll leap together. I’ve got you.”

Gretchen, blushing even harder now, tentatively took his hand…

And shook.

“Ditto.”, she said, with a smile.

Dakota then slowly took out a boom box and put on “Ain’t No Mountain” by Marvin Gaye and 

“Good choice.”, Gretchen complimented.

“Hoo boy, a compliment? We’re really taking steps forward.” Dakota said, half jokingly half genuinely.

Gretchen beamed.

AND NOW…

LET THE MONTAGE…

BEGIN!

FRAME 6: Dakota slowly began to ready his throwing arm.

He was still a total amateur, though, so he was a little cautious and unsure of his throwing ability.

Seeing this, Gretchen started supporting him. “You can do it, Dakota! Just focus! Look at the pins and visualize what you want!”

Dakota nodded and looked at the pins.

“Think of what your hearts greatest wish is, and make it that if you get two strikes, you get what you want!”

“What do I want?”, Dakota thought and he closed his eyes in concentration.

He thought of Savannah living in a society that accepts her.

He thought of Brick having companionship, and not feeling alone.

He thought of a happy, hopeful Gretchen.

He thought of his kids and family, safely living together.

And he thought of Cavendish, standing with him in an altar…

“I do, Dakota. I want to spend the rest of my days with you. Because I am happy.”

Dakota smiled…

And threw the ball twice, getting two strikes.

31 - 150

Pumping his fist, he offered Gretchen a high five, which she shyly took.

“Woo! We’re gonna win!”, Dakota called, and he disco danced aggressively, Gretchen shaking her head in humor.

Dakota looked at the team.

“Guys, I know that this sucks, but if we win, we beat her, and maybe, just maybe, we could actually have some fun doing it! But we can’t do it if we don’t believe! We can’t do it if we don’t prove her wrong! We are better than she says!”

He put his hand in the middle.

“What do you say? Can you take the leap?”

Gretchen put her hand down, smiling.

Brick was nervous, but he also put his hand.

Savannah followed, unsure, but a little hopeful.

Even Cavendish put his hand.

And Block too, from Cavendish’s beard.

“Let’s kick her butt!”, Dakota called, and they cheered.

Ms. Barrier, fuming, pushed Larson back in. “We get one point and we win! Just knock down one!”

But Larson, alongside the other players, had already grown tired of Barrier’s shouting and abuse.

“You can forget it. You’ve been treating this surprisingly sexy and nice man badly, as well as the others. We quit!”

The other players nodded and agreed, and they wished the other team luck as they passed.

“Good luck, Dakota.”, Larson said, extending his hand.

Dakota took it and shook, smiling. “Thanks, man.”

Barrier, now furious, frothing at the mouth, quickly dragged four random old women out of nowhere.

“Represent me or die!”, she said, her eyes red with rage.

“Oh dear…”, the old ladies said, afraid of their new “Team Captain”.

The first one, Ethel, walked up and completely fluffed her two shots.

31 - 150

“You are a disgrace to the human race!”, Barrier shouted, and as she chewed poor Ethel out, Brick stepped up.

“I… I don’t know if I can do this.”, he said, quietly, to himself.

“Brick, you can do this! We’ve got your back!”, Dakota called.

“Yeah, Brick, we’re all friends here!”, Gretchen said, knowing that the statement would install confidence in Brick.

Brick looked back, eyes stinging a bit with tears.

Savannah rolled her eyes, but she had a wry smile as she said. “Yeah, I guess the… Power of friendship will help us.”

Brick crowed. “Yes! All those episodes of My Little Pony were true! Friendship IS all you need!”

Brick turned to the lane and took the ball.

“For my friends!”, he called, and, putting Fluttershy on his back, Brick rolled the ball and got two strikes as well!

61 - 150

Barrier sent another old lady, Mabel, but Mabel arthritis made her throw the ball at Barrier twice, which was… Disastrous, to say the least.

61 – 150.

While Barrier choked the woman, Savannah stepped up.

Barrier, sensing an opportunity, sent out an insult. “Oh, please. You’ve been nothing but a disappointment all your life, Savannah. You couldn’t possibly get two strikes. You’re not strong enough.”

Savannah gulped, feeling her anxieties return, only for Dakota to make sure she doesn’t.

“Savannah, you ARE stronger than her. We love the real you! Well, at least, I do.”, Dakota said, hoping this would help.

He had no idea how well timed the love word was.

Savannah smiled, feeling a flutter in her heart.

“Yeah, Savannah, wipe her dumb grin off!”, Gretchen called, getting into the moral thing.

It felt…

Pretty good.

Savannah, now motivated, began to roll the ball.

“For Dakota…”, she whispered.

She closed her eyes.

“…And for me. The real me.”

Two strikes, and Savannah, for the first time in years…

Felt proud of herself.

91 – 150.

While Johanna failed as well (Barrier’s shouts caused her to throw the balls at the snack bar, now putting that on Barrier’s tab), Block stepped up, overly cocky.

“Now it’s in the bag!”, he said, juggling the ball and hitting himself on the head.

Dakota and Gretchen, sensing that Block was going to cost them the game, walked up to him.

Dakota stared at Block in the eyes, making Block flustered.

“Listen, I know that we’ve had our differences, but the people here need us to win. I need you to do this properly.”

He gave his a serious stare. “You keep saying that you’re a leader. Prove it.”

Block, for once, listened, and deciding to show Dakota that he can be a leader, stepped up, now filled with non toxic confidence.

“You can do it, boss!”, Gretchen said, giving her boss, for the first time, a contemptless look.

Block smiled assuredly, and did the impossible: He actually got two strikes!

121 – 150.

After yet another old woman failed, Barrier was pulling her hair out.

“They can’t do this! They can’t win!”

Cavendish meanwhile, wasn’t sure he should.

“I don’t know… If I can…”

“Or if you should!”, a voice rang in his head, a familiar one. “Who was that?”, Cavendish thought, only knowing that he feared letting that voice down.

Dakota extended his hand. “Balthy… I know you can.”

Cavendish looked up at the man he loved….

At least, the man he thought he loved…

And he wanted to at least give him one thing.

Just once, to give him something to be happy about.

Just for once, to not be a failure as a friend.

“All right… I’ll try…”, Cavendish started, but before he could walk up to the lane, Barrier smacked him aside.

“I’m first, loser! I have to win this!”, she said, and Cavendish flew into a wall, his head stuck inside.

“Balthy! You ok?”, Dakota asked as he and the rest of the team inspected him.

“I think I’m…”, Cavendish started, and then he fainted.

All he could see were visions of his father shaking his head.

And visions of Dakota let down by the worst friend in the world.

“He’s out! We’ll need someone else to throw!”, Dakota said, and everyone looked at Gretchen.

“Um… I…”, she stammered, a little frightened by all the attention. “I don’t know… I don’t… Do things for others.”

Dakota grabbed her hands, making her feel very warm.

“…Fresh start, Gretch. I know you can.”

He smiles, and for a moment, they flashback.

He’s a lost Janitor, a wash out, dreaming of helping others, of making this world better.

And she’s a 10 year old girl with a horrible life and a heart that yearns for heroism.

“I’ve always known. From the very beginning.”

He smiled and she smiled back.

“A leap of faith, Gretch. That’s what it is. This crazy life… It’s a leap of faith.”

Gretchen nodded, and slowly stepped up to the lane, after Barrier angrily threw the balls at Block instead, knocking him out.

“It doesn’t matter if I miss! She’ll never do it!”

Gretchen smiled cockily as she arrived and picked up her ball.

“Watch me, bi#$@!”

She picked up the ball, and took a deep breath.

Even though he wasn’t next to her, she could see Dakota’s smile, and that Janitor from all those years ago put his hands on her shoulders.

“As long as you believe, as long as you try to do what’s right… It will work out… In the end.”

“Then… Then go and do that. Never give up. Ok?”

Dakota’s voice continued to ring inside her as she began to throw the ball…

For him…

And for herself.

“You CAN be a hero.”, he seemed to call from behind her.

Gretchen knew…

She could.

And she would try.

She was no longer bowling just for herself…

“I’m bowling for you…”, she thought, Dakota’s smile in the front of her mind.

She threw the ball…

Strike!

And she threw it again.

And for the first time in years…

Gretchen laughed with joy and smiled with passion as…

“STRIKE! STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE, STRIKE!”

Sure, she had heard it a million times.

But she had never heard it with someone who actually cared for her.

And as Dakota and Gretchen celebrated, Block ripped his shirt off, and Cavendish wiggled his feet in the hole of the wall, Brick took a camera out and took a picture of Dakota and Gretchen posing with a makeshift bowling trophy Savannah had made out of the last beer glass in the house.

It also shattered, but what the hey, right?

“WEEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONSSSSSS MY FRIEEEEEENNNNNNDDDDSSSSS!”, Block screamed into the night, very drunk and very red as he waddled in the snow.

Block, also pissed, sang a completely different song.

“I USED TO WONDER WHAT FRIENDSHIP COULD BE”

“(MY LITTLE PONY!)”

“UNTIL YOU ALL SHARED ITS MAGIC WITH ME!”

As the two grown men threw snowballs at each other, Savannah chuckled and grabbed them by the collars.

“I’ll make sure the chuckle brothers here get home safely.”

She looked at Dakota, who was carrying a knocked out Cavendish.

She seemed…

Hesitant.

And sad.

And guilty.

“Dakota… I hope that…”

Despite what she had to do…

She wanted him to be happy.

In a sense, she did wish for this.

“I hope that you sort things out with Cavendish.”

She smiled and Dakota smiled back.

“I’m sure… I’m sure things will go well. In the end… It will all be ok.”

He smiled as he gazed upon the snow, Savannah taking the two guys to her vehicle.

As it drove away, Dakota turned to see Gretchen stand behind him, shy, but happy.

“Hey, um… Thanks for…”, she started, but Dakota shushed her.

“You don’t have to say anything.”

He smiled.

“It’s what I do.”

Gretchen grinned smugly. “Well, you know, you’re not the only one in the biz.”

Dakota smiled. “Happy to hear that.”

He and Gretchen walked for a bit, the snow sticking to their sweaters, Gretchen almost small and fragile like a flower next to the confident, and at peace Dakota.

She wasn’t sure what to say now.

She wished she could say a certain thing…

But she wasn’t sure she could ever earn it.

So she stayed silent as they neared the car, Dakota occasionally reminding her of something that happened in the alley and her smiling softly and chuckling once or twice.

As they arrived, Gretchen got nervous again.

“You know…”

Dakota turned, curious as to what she would say.

“You know…”, she started again, shyly, hands clasped together for safety.

“They say to never meet your heroes. But I think… I think that for once, I got the long end of the stick.”, she smiled, before throwing a snowball at Dakota.

Dakota laughed, and then threw a snowball at her, only that one seemed to have two things sticking out of it.

Gretchen looked at it curiously, confused by the snowball.

She eyed Dakota, puzzled.

“Let’s break another rule, then: Befriending your heroes sucks too, no?”, he said, with a smile.

She pulled out a slip of paper with his phone number on it, and the picture of the two of them celebrating the win.

Faces close together, hands in the air, eyes closed and giant grins plastered on their faces, Gretchen and Dakota couldn’t be happier in the photo…

But Gretchen, with tiny tears coming out of her now, beat that by a mile.

She had the biggest smile she had ever had in her whole life, and she felt her heart pound like a jackhammer.

“Let’s hang out, sometime, you know? Mess around, eat burritos, watch dumb stuff on TV… Be friends.”, he said, with a welcoming smile.

Gretchen immediately accepted the invitation.

“Sure… But I gotta warn you… I’m a handful.”, she said, grinning smugly.

Dakota shook his head, and sighed, at peace.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As he began to leave, she looked at him.

“Are you ok?”, she asked, hoping for a positive answer.

Dakota turned, happy.

“More than that: I’m me. And that’s not bad.”

Gretchen then looked down at her feet and said “…Thank you.”

“For what?”

“…For everything.”

Closing her eyes to avoid his gaze, she couldn’t avoid his hug, which squeezed the living daylights out of her.

Not that she was going to complain this time.

Feeling actual positive human contact was both shocking and intoxicating.

“…See ya around, kid.”, Dakota said, and he entered the loaned time vehicle from Block to get back to 2017.

He closed the window, missing the blush on Gretchen’s face.

Gretchen looked at the photo and the number.

She looked at the sky.

The snow fell around her, but it felt…

Nice.

She felt…

Nice.

And as she smiled, she wondered…

Is this the love she had so desperately wanted?

Is this what life could be?

If so…

“Maybe there is hope…”, she thought, as she fell in love.

“…For me.”

Post Credit Scene:

Thunder crashed.

Rain poured down, stormy and unforgiving.

And, in her house, bursting into tears…

Was Gretchen.

She was on her knees, tears streaming down, as her emotional storm raced through her mind.

She grasped at her heart as she thought of the one person who cared for her…

The one person she just might…

Love.

And she thought of how she was going to break all that trust and care…

Because she truly was a bad person.

Like they had all said all those years ago.

Gretchen didn’t know what to do.

But she didn’t have much of a choice.

‘I’m sorry, Dakota…”, she whispered, as she stood up, resigned to her fate.

She was the bad guy.

There was no hope.

And as she kept sobbing, The Seventh Shadowy Figure placed his hand on her shoulder, almost comforting.

“…It’s time, Gretchen.”

To Be Continued in “Balthazar Cavendish VS The World”!


End file.
